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Missed the Mark - Obi-Wan Kenobi (Part 10)

Welcome, everyone.  At last, we have reached the final stage of this rewrite journey.

If you haven’t read the previous parts, I highly recommend you do so.  A lot of ground’s been covered.  For everyone else, let’s roll up our sleeves and dive right into the second part of the finale.

Series Recap

Years of isolation on Tatooine had transformed Obi-Wan into a hardened warrior, obsessed with preparations to destroy Vader and the Emperor.  When Princess Leia is kidnapped by the radical rebels of the Hidden Path, he refuses Bail Organa’s plea to save her; when the Path’s leader, Jedi Master Jorus C’baoth, finds, him, he accepts an offer to join the Path, but only to draw attention away from Luke.

Obi-Wan’s Jedi values resurface as he sees the Path’s operations.  He is horrified to discover that the Path needlessly sacrifices the lives of those without the Force and brainwashes its Force-sensitive conscripts.  When he confronts C’baoth, the Jedi Master reveals his intention to establish a new Empire ruled by the Jedi.  Obi-Wan is overpowered and mentally broken by C’baoth’s mind tricks.  He leaves the Path and returns to Tatooine.

Unbeknownst to Obi-Wan and C’baoth, Leia had already staged her escape from the Path, stowing away on Obi-Wan’s shuttle.  The conversation between her and Obi-Wan breaks not only C’baoth’s mind trick but also forces Obi-Wan to come to terms with the end of the Republic.  He realizes that, as a servant of the Force, he cannot turn a blind eye to C’baoth.

Obi-Wan returns Leia to Bail.  However, he senses a threat to Luke and rushes back to Tatooine.  Jedi loyal to C’baoth have come looking for Leia, and they’ve learned that Obi-Wan has a connection to the Lars homestead.  Now Obi-Wan races to reach Luke before the Path does …

EPISODE 8 – SERVANT OF THE FORCE

No opening scene here.  We cut from the recap to the title cards.

The Dragon of the Force

Obi-Wan races across the desert on his speeder bike.  The Lars homestead comes into view.  As he zooms towards it, he spots three other speeder bikes races towards the homestead.  He changes direction to intercept them.  As he does, he takes one hand off the handlebars and reaches towards the parched ground.

We cut to young Luke’s perspective, working on a vaporator right outside the homestead.  He glimpses the speeder bikes in the distance.  The dot that we know to be Obi-Wan is suddenly engulfed within a vortex of sand.  Luke then sees the flashes of blaster fire as the riders of the other bikes open up on the cloud.  He runs inside, shouting for Uncle Owen.

Haja and the other Path Jedi continue to pump blaster fire into the miniature sandstorm that Obi-Wan has whipped up.  At the last second, as the storm crashes over them, Haja brakes; the other two Jedi instead try to swerve away.  Through the swirling dust, we see Obi-Wan’s bike shoot between the other two Jedi – and it is empty, save for a detonator wired into the console.

An explosion roils through the sandstorm.  At the same time, Obi-Wan, who’d leapt from the bike, crashes boots-first into Haja.  The two Jedi tumble across the parches ground and roll to their feet, surrounded by swirling dust.  Obi-Wan spins his staff.  Before he can lunge at Haja, though, Haja ignites a green lightsaber.

OBI-WAN: Here I thought C’baoth looked down on symbols.

HAJA: It still cuts flesh just fine.  Where’s the Skywalker girl?

OBI-WAN: Safe.  It’s done, Haja.  Go back to C’baoth.

HAJA: No.  My master gave orders.  If you won’t hand over the girl, we’ll make you.  [The dust has started to settle; he points through the cloud, towards the hazy outline of the Lars homestead.]  I wonder why this place is so important to you.  Is that your child in there?  Or did Skywalker have more than one child?

Obi-Wan uses the Force to tear up the ground, engulfing both himself and Haja in a fresh column of sand.  We cut to the homestead.  Owen emerges, slugthrower in hand, just in time to see the green lightsaber vanish.

Within the cloud, Obi-Wan lunges at Haja.  The Path Jedi menaces him with the lightsaber.  Obi-Wan is faster and more skilled, but his staff cannot end a fight as decisively as a lightsaber can.  After several blows, Haja manages to get in a lucky hit, cleaving the staff in two.  He then nearly decapitates Obi-Wan, slicing through and setting fire to Obi-Wan’s hood.  Obi-Wan spins away, raising a fresh cloud of sand.

HAJA: C’baoth doesn’t want to kill you, Obi-Wan!  But I know you and Skywalker!  You’re never going to stop being a threat to us.

OBI-WAN [speaking from the cloud]: No, I won’t.

HAJA: Your Jedi Order is gone, Obi-Wan!  You and Skywalker were symbols of a dead era.  It’s time someone buries you both.

OBI-WAN [still speaking from the cloud]: The Order is gone.  The Republic is gone – but the Force remains.

A cloaked form lunges from the cloud.  Haja spins.  His lightsaber cleaves through Obi-Wan’s empty cloak.  Then Obi-Wan springs upon Haja from behind.  Haja twists towards him, but Obi-Wan grabs the hilt of the lightsaber.  He disarms Haja and strikes him down in a single stroke.

The sand begins to settle.  Obi-Wan glimpses the vision of Anakin through the cloud.  He can’t clearly see Anakin’s face, but he does see Anakin nod before fading into the falling sand.  With a drawn-out sigh, Obi-Wan shuts off Haja’s lightsaber.

Ascent of the Heir

On Jabiim, stormtroopers greet Third Sister as she emerges from the mine.  She has C’baoth in cuffs, with a neutral disruptor on his head.  She orders the stormtroopers to pull back to the Star Destroyer as she and C’baoth board a shuttle.

The shuttle arrives on the Star Destroyer.  Third Sister commands that C’baoth be taken to the brig.  When she arrives to the bridge, she orders a communications blackout with the rest of the Imperial Navy.  “Vader will be coming to collect C’baoth personally,” she tells the Star Destroyer’s captain.  “I will contact him.  Until he arrives, we are to go to silent running.  Assemble the fleet behind Jabiim’s moon while we wait.”

Within her quarters, Third Sister sends a transmission.  Tala answers.  She is shocked to see the Inquisitor.  Third Sister calms her by giving her codes from C’baoth, then explains that “the Master” is dealing with the Imperial fleet.  Tala and the Path need only wait a few days for the pieces to be put in place.

We see C’baoth meditating in his cell, guarded by multiple Purge troopers.  The lights of his disruptor shut off.  One of the troopers notices.  Before he can raise the alarm, however, C’baoth opens his eyes and glances at him.  The trooper relaxes.  C’baoth then closes his eyes again. His lips begin to move silent.

Cut to the various ships in the fleet.  We see engineers and bridge officers going about their duties.  As they do, we hear C’baoth’s voice whispering.  The words are indistinct.  The officers and engineers twitch or get a faraway look in their eyes as they hear the whispers.

Neighborly Visit

Obi-Wan walks up to the Lards homestead.  The bodies of Haja and the other Path Jedi are thrown across Haja’s bike, which he leads by hand.  Owen, waiting at the homestead entrance, aims that slugthrower at him.

OWEN: That’s close enough!

OBI-WAN: Relax, Owen.  They’ve been dealt with.

OWEN: What did I tell you about bringing danger to our door, Kenobi?  Is this what you consider ‘redirecting attention’?

OBI-WAN: Had I not been here, Owen, they’d have overrun your home!

OWEN: Would they have been here at all without you?

OBI-WAN: … no.

OWEN: That’s what I thought.  Now, get off –

[There’s a crash behind Owen.  He and Obi-Wan whip towards the noise.  Luke has snuck up to the door, knocking over some equipment in the process.]

OWEN: Luke!  I told you to say with your aunt!  Go on, now!

OBI-WAN: He’s right, Luke.  Go back to your aunt.

BERU [from inside the house]: I’m right here.  [She emerges, grabbing Luke’s hand.  She’s holding a blaster in her other hand.  She eyes Obi-Wan and the speeder bike piled with bodies.]  It looks like the danger’s past, Owen.

OWEN: Not while he’s here.

LUKE: What did they want?

OBI-WAN: Just some thugs, after something I left with your uncle.  [He looks at Owen.]  Please, give it back to me.  I’ll make sure no one comes back here to find it again.  If you could lend me another speeder bike, I’ll also make sure to dump these lot outside your land.

Owen glowers at Obi-Wan.  After a long moment, he asks Beru to fetch the box.  She ducks inside, returning with it after a few minutes.  Obi-Wan accepts it.  Luke then floats out a speeder bike.  Obi-Wan fiddles with the controls on both bikes, until the one with the bodies moves in tandem with the borrowed bike.

OWEN: Don’t come back here again, Kenobi.

OBI-WAN: I’ll make sure I won’t have to.  [He stares at Luke for a long moment.]  See you all around.

Revving up the bike, Obi-Wan tears out across the desert, towing his grim cargo behind him.  We cut to him burying the dead Jedi in the dunes not far from his hut.  He then buckles his, Anakin’s, and Haja’s lightsabers to his belt before taking off in Sotola’s yacht, hurtling back into space.

Inferno

C’baoth is meditating in his cell.  Under his breath, he whispers, “Reva.  It is time.”

Up in her quarters, Third Sister arises from her cot.  She goes to the bridge.  The captain informs her that the Grand Inquisitor is currently trying to contact them.  She orders the captain to disregard the transmission and wait for Vader.

That’s when one of the other ships in the fleet, a 546 Cruiser (the bigger version of the Arquitens that Moff Gideon commands in The Mandalorian), suddenly opens all its airlocks and turns off its shields.  The bridge crew of the Star Destroyer reacts with shock and horror as TIE fighters, droids, and human personnel are dragged into space.  The 546 Cruiser is reverted to a lifeless husk within minutes.

Third Sister remains calm.  Once the 546 Cruiser is dead in space, she orders that vacuum troopers be sent over to seal the ship and restore oxygen levels, then move the 546 Cruiser away from the rest of the fleet.  She then gives orders to get ready to move C’baoth to the cruiser.  “I sense he’s behind this.  We’ll isolate him until Vader arrives.”

Shuttles of vacuum troopers cross the void of space and begin repressurizing the 546 Cruiser.  Third Sister loads C’baoth onto a shuttle with an escort of Purge troopers.  As these preparations are taking place, we cut to the same engineers and bridge officers who heard C’baoth’s whispers previously.  They begin to fiddle with work stations and equipment.  Monitors and gauges begin to turn red as they work.

The shoe drops as the shuttle carrying Third Sister and C’baoth land on the 546 Cruiser.  The Star Destroyer’s reactor goes critical, ripping the vessel apart.  Other ships follow suit, ripped apart by reactor meltdowns or hyperdrive malfunctions.  Burning vessels plunge into the atmosphere of Jabiim.

Third Sister kills the Purge troopers with her and C’baoth, then removes his cuffs and disruptor.  He instructs her to dispatch the other troopers aboard so that the Path can land safely.  Nodding, Third Sister disembarks from the shuttle, while C’baoth accesses the comm system to summon Tala.

Boarding Action

The Hidden Path’s shuttles return to Jabiim.  They evade the wreckage of the shattered fleet and land aboard the 546 Cruiser.  C’baoth is seen on the bridge, observing as the mercenaries and Path operatives remove the bodies of Imperials who either suffocated when the airlocks were vented or were cut down by Third Sister.

C’BAOTH: Interesting.  I didn’t foresee this.

THIRD SISTER: Foresee what, Master?

[C’baoth points out the window.  As Third Sister and others turn to look, Sotola’s yacht drops out of hyperspace.]

C’BAOTH: Open a channel to Kenobi.

[One of the mercenaries activates the comm station.  A moment later, a hologram of Obi-Wan appears.]

OBI-WAN: Jorus C’baoth.  I have come to accept your surrender.

The two Jedi banter as the yacht hurtles towards the 546 Cruiser.  C’baoth expresses disappointment that Obi-Wan did not bring back Leia.  He also refuses to surrender the Path’s conscripts to Kenobi or anyone else.

C’BAOTH: I don’t want to kill you, Kenobi.  But if you come looking for a fight, you shall have one.

[He indicates for the mercenaries to cut the transmissions.  The yacht hurtles towards the cruiser and swerves into the hanger, crashing into the parked shuttles.  We see Obi-Wan aboard the yacht, readying himself for battle, as the conversation on the bridge continues.]

THIRD SISTER: We should vent the hanger again.

C’BAOTH: No.  He’ll see that coming.  [He turns to her.]  Stall him, my apprentice, while I set a fitting trap.

Obi-Wan, having noticed the disarray from the venting of the hanger, emerges with the yacht in a pressure suit.  Making his way to the hanger doors, he ignites his lightsaber, deflecting the bolts from the guards left to watch the shuttles before cutting them down and proceeding deeper into the ship.

Inexorible Advance

Obi-Wan proceeds to battle his way through the cruiser, swiftly dispatching any mercenaries or Path operatives who bar his way.  He soon reaches the cargo hold.  Third Sister and NED-B are waiting for him.  The droid is gripping one of the girls who attacked Leia by the collar, while Third Sister holds a lightsaber to the girl’s throat.

Rather than rush in, Obi-Wan tries to reason with Third Sister.  He recognizes her from the Jedi Temple, from teaching her class of younglings the basics of lightsaber combat.  As they talk, Tala gets into position in the upper reaches of the hanger, aiming a sniper rifle at Obi-Wan.

The breaking point comes when Obi-Wan begins talking about Order 66.  Third Sister lunges at Kenobi, igniting the second blade of her lightsaber.  The two duel back and forth, with Obi-Wan staying ahead of the spinning blades.  Tala seeing an opening and takes a shot.  Without missing a step, Obi-Wan bats the bolt into NED-B, taking off the droid’s head.  He orders the girl to hide while he continues to battle Third Sister.

Eventually, he cleaves through Third Sister’s lightsaber.  Before he can strike a killing blow, Tala takes another shot.  Third Sister uses this distraction to flee.  Obi-Wan then rounds on Tala, using the Force to yank her down from her vantage point.  The scene cuts before it shows whether she is killed or simply incapacitated.

Obi-Wan shucks the pressure suit as he enters the turbolift to the bridge.  The lift comes to an abrupt halt as he ascends.  C’baoth messages him over the lift’s intercom

C’BAOTH: What do you hope to accomplish here, Obi-Wan?

OBI-WAN [opening turbolift control panel]: I am doing what I must to restore Balance, C’baoth.  The galaxy will never be safe so long as you live.

C’BAOTH: Hardly the talk of a symbol of peace.

OBI-WAN: There can be no peace without Balance.

C’BAOTH: I should find this enlightening, then.

The turbolift lurches back into motion.  Obi-Wan jerks back from the panel.  He draws his blade.  The lift reaches the top of the shaft, and the door opens.

The hallway between the lift and the bridge is filled with child soldiers of the Path.

They open fire.  Obi-Wan throws himself to the side of the doors to avoid the blaster fire.  As blaster fire pounds the back of the lift, C’baoth mocks Obi-Wan over the intercom.

C’BAOTH: I’m looking forward to how a symbol of the Republic deals with this.

The Hallway Scene

Obi-Wan stands against the wall of the lift, out of the line of fire.  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  His face relaxes as he calls upon the Force.  He then calls out into the hallway.

OBI-WAN: Younglings!  Do you know what this is?

He extends the lightsaber into the doorway.  One of the children fires a shot at it, which deflects into the ceiling.

OBI-WAN: I asked a question!  Do you know what this is?

One of the children answers with C’baoth’s description of the lightsabers from the indoctrination sessions.  Obi-Wan rebukes the child.  The others begin chiming in.  As they argue with Obi-Wan, they slowly lower than weapons, distracted by the barrage of questions.

Obi-Wan then steps into the hallway.  With his blade raised, he slowly advances, still arguing with the children.  They are so distracted by the debate and his brazenness that he manages to reach their choke point and slowly pass through it.  By the time Obi-Wan has finished expounding upon the mission of the Jedi, he has made it all the way to the doors of the bridge.

C’BAOTH [speaking over the intercom]: Impressive, Obi-Wan.  [The bridge doors open to reveal C’baoth, standing alone.]  You’ll find I’m a harder man to mislead.

The Last Command

C’baoth lashes out with Force lightning.  Obi-Wan catches it on his blade.  He lurches across the threshold.  Taking one hand off the hilt, he triggers the door controls, sealing himself in with C’baoth and keeping the lightning rom reaching the children.

This is when Third Sister strikes from inside the door.  With the Force, she yanks Haja’s lightsaber off Obi-Wan’s belt.  Obi-Wan draws Anakin’s saber, deflecting Third Sister’s strike while resisting C’baoth’s lightning with the other blade.

At last, C’baoth lowers his arms, breathing heavily, hands shaking.  Obi-Wan shifts his full attention to Third Sister.  In a few swift strokes, he cuts her down.

C’baoth hurls another blast of Force lightning as Third Sister falls.  This time, the blast catches Obi-Wan before he can raise his saber.  Obi-Wan is thrown back against the wall.  The lightning gutters out.  Before Obi-Wan can recover, C’baoth switches to telekinesis.  He tears both blades out of Obi-Wan’s hands and pins him against the wall.

C’BAOTH: Not enough, Obi-Wan.  You are still a Jedi of the Republic.  [He ignites Anakin’s lightsaber and stalks towards Obi-Wan.]  You live and die by swords.  What are they, compared to the Force?

[Obi-Wan grits his teeth.  Slowly, he raises his arms, fighting against C’baoth’s grip.]

OBI-WAN: No – I am a servant of the Force.

C’baoth tries to strike Obi-Wan down.  Obi-Wan deflects the strike with a Force push from his left hand.  With his right sleeve, a holdout blaster (the same C’baoth gave him in Episode 3) springs.  He shoots C’baoth in the face.  As C’baoth staggers back, Obi-wan tears his saber from C’baoth’s hand and strikes the Jedi Master down.

Silence falls over the bridge.  Breathing heavily, Obi-Wan opens the door to the bridge.  The children aim blasters at him.

OBI-WAN: I don’t suppose you were taught how to operate a cruiser?

Rendezvous with Rebellion

The 546 cruiser floats in deep space, surrounded by a trio of Rebel corvettes.  Rebel soldiers come aboard and round up the children.  Bail, too, comes aboard.  He meets Oi-Wan on the bridge of the cruiser.

BAIL: Thank you, Obi-Wan.  The Alliance … no, I owe you a great debt.  Rest assured, I’ll see to it that all of these children are either returned home or fostered someplace safe from the Empire.

OBI-WAN [staring out into space]: Good.

BAIL: Is there anything I can do to repay you?  Anything I can offer to help you with your mission?

OBI-WAN [smiling and turning to face Bail]: Keep a close eye on Leia.  C’baoth tried to tempt her to abuse her gifts.  She’ll need you to ensure that she keeps walking the right path.  [His gaze drifts to C’baoth’s corpse, which lays shrouded upon the deck.]  And please see to it the C’baoth’s remains are disposed of respectfully.  Whatever he became, he was a Jedi of the Republic once.

BAIL: I shall see it done.

OBI-WAN: Oh … I don’t suppose you could lend me a shuttle?  The ship I arrived on is … a tad conspicuous.

The two laugh and stride from the bridge.

Balance Restored

Obi-Wan returns to Tatooine.  He sells the shuttle in Mos Eisley and acquires a new skyhopper.  He then flies back to his hut.  The shuttle he previously returned to Tatooine with is nothing but a skeletal frame, picked clean by Jawas.

We see Obi-Wan return to his routine from Episode 1.  He goes through his evening exercises with the staff.  He then turns his attention to Haja’s lightsaber.  He strips the weapon for parts, gently tucking the Kyber crystal into a bag and hiding it in the back of a drawer.  (I’m not saying this this is the Kyber crystal that Luke uses to build his green lightsaber, but I’m also not saying that it isn’t.)

Morning comes.  Obi-Wan is meditating; Anakin appears before him once more.

OBI-WAN: Was there something more you wanted to discuss, Anakin?

ANAKIN: I just wanted to thank you, Master.

OBI-WAN: For saving Leia?

ANAKIN: For letting go.

The vision disappears.  With a heavy sigh, Obi-Wan closes his eyes.  He finds that his connection to the Force comes more easily: flashes of Luke on the moisture farm and Leia on Alderaan come to him.  The camera zooms on his face as it relaxes into a peaceful expression.

A hand enters the frame and rests on his shoulder.  The screen cuts to black.  A familiar voice speaks.

QUI-GON: Good, Obi-Wan.  You’ve taken your first steps.

CONCLUSION

Thus concludes my proposed rewrite to Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Thank you all for coming on this journey with me.

I’ll be the first to admit that this proposed version of the story is rough.  It would benefit from a full treatment by a qualified scriptwriter.  All the same, I hope that you all found this version more satisfying, consistent, and emotionally resonant than the original show.  There is still room in Star Wars for great stories that adhere to the canon.  It just takes passionate writers who understand and care about the source material to accomplish that goal.

I do have plans for a rewrite proposal for the Sequel Trilogy.  If you all are interested, I also have an idea for what a potential Season 2 might look like.  Both will have a wait a little while, though.  There are a handful of other things in the pipeline.

One of these planned projects is an entry to If They Planned It All Ahead.  This time, I’m setting my sights on ABC’s Once Upon a Time.  There’s a crocodile who’d have benefitted from more foresight.  This, however, is only the second item on my list.

Some of you may have noticed that I recently added a book review segment, Recent Reads.  The next entry in that series will be Shadow of the Conqueror by Shad Brooks.  What I intended as a slightly longer review than normal swiftly ballooned into a multipart series.  It’s a book that is rather complicated as far as quality is concerned.

Weekly review pieces for Shadow of the Conqueror will take us through mid-December.  We’ll then dive into Once Upon a Time in either late December or early January.

Thank you all again for coming on this journey with me.  I hope to see you all in the next series.  Have a good week.

If They Planned It All Ahead - Once Upon a Time (Part 1)

Missed the Mark - Obi-Wan Kenobi (Part 9)