Shadow of the Conqueror (Part 4)
STATS
Title: Shadow of the Conqueror
Series: The Chronicles of Everfall (Book 1)
Author(s): Shad M. Brooks
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
First Printing: July 2019
Publisher: Independently published via Shadiversity Pty Ltd and Honorguard Productions LLC
Rating: 6/10
SPOILER WARNING
Spoilers will be necessary to properly explore aspects of this story. I will mark “Mild Spoilers” and “Heavy Spoilers” at the start of each section as necessary, but the first paragraph will always be as spoiler-free as possible.
ACTION SCENES
Action – and, more specifically, fight scenes – were not quite a selling point of Shadow of the Conqueror, but they were expected. Shad does HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts), and his frequently applies that experience on his channels to critique fight scenes. There was an expectation that he would put his money where his mouth was.
I think he was successful. Most of the fights are decently choreographed, both in terms of mundane swordsmanship and the application of the powers. The only places where I feel things are weak are when multiple opponents are involved, as those fights become vague summaries. Still, that’s not an unreasonable choice when one wants to avoid drawing out a fight scene.
Another element in which Shad was successful is in telling a story through the violence. The ideal fight scene in fiction is a miniature narrative that represents a deeper aspect of the plot, usually a character conflict. While the book has no shortage of weak, meaningless fights where the power fantasy is deflating the stakes and tension, it also has multiple great fights where characters are expressing internal and interpersonal conflicts through violence.
I also like how Shad implements the magic system in the fights. Daylen and other characters use the Lightbinding and Lightbringing powers creatively, constantly evolving the fights as they seek advantages over their opponents. (I should note that I’m not referring to the “enhance physical attributes” application of the powers here. There’s not much interesting in saying, “And then he got stronger and faster to overpower his opponents.”)
I should take a moment to acknowledge that I am not an expert in swordsmanship. If you have a stronger background in this, you may see problems that I don’t. I also heard one reader state that Shad is leaning so far into his HEMA knowledge and vocabulary that it makes the fights inaccessible to casual readers. As a person without that HEMA background, I didn’t personally find this to be a problem, but this is potentially a problem that will vary from person to person.
DIALOGUE
Dialogue in this story is rough. I don’t think it’s objectively terrible in small bites, but far too many conversations outstay their welcome.
I’ve touched a bit on this before with Cueseg, Ahrek, and the handling of exposition. Jokes are run into the ground. Conversations containing exposition derail the pacing of the scene. Any discussion where the story tries to discuss something serious, whether it’s Cueseg and Ahrek discussing the stigmatization of sexual assault victims or a theological debate about the Light, runs so long that I begin to feel like Shad has stopped telling the story for a moment to preach to the audience.
Given how widespread and consistent this issue is, I suspect that this problem comes down to Shad’s approach. It seems like he wanted to make conversations as realistic as possible, cutting out only dead air and filler noises. This is admirable, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of the pacing, especially when this is supposed to be a fast-paced action story. There’s a point where conversation has served its purpose in the story and needs to end so that things can progress.
Of course, the problem could just be that Shad couldn’t figure out how to end the scenes where these conversations take place. Many of these are the end of their respective scenes. He might have drawn the dialogue out while searching for (what he thought would be) a good end point and then neglected to edit out the meandering conversation in the middle.
PLOT
The plot of Shadow of the Conqueror is uncomplicated. Man feels call to action, man does things and faces complications, man saves the day and is forced to grow as the character. Man happens to be bad man who needs to be strongarmed into being good man.
That’s as basic as I can get without going into spoilers. Let’s hit the bullet points. I’ll do my assessment at the end.
Breakdown (Heavy Spoilers)
Our story begins with Daylen in his 80s, finishing his confessional memoir of his crimes as Dayless the Conqueror and readying for his suicide attempt. His plan is grandiose: to cast himself off the edge of the continent and fall through the barrier where the bottom of the sky loops back to the top. Those who pass through the barrier while holding a sunstone or darkstone die; he plans to hold both, just to be certain that it kills him. As he sets out on his journey, he discovers Ahrek outside his home. The Lightbringer claims to have been brought here by a vision from the Light and is waiting for a young man from this vision to come along. Daylen is dismissive of this, and he continues on his journey.
When Daylen reaches the edge of the continent, he casts himself off the edge, a darkstone in hand and a sunstone around his neck. It takes hours to fall to the barrier. When he hits it, however, he does not die. He is shocked to suddenly find himself restored to his youth, and with a sudden connection to the Light.
The next few chapters involved Daylen exploring and experimenting with his new Lightbinding powers. He figures out how to use them to land safely back atop the continent and runs other tests as he makes his way back to his home. These experiments do not go unnoticed: he is mistaken for an Archknight in one of the cities, and his activities are reported back to the Archknight command. Lyrah and Cueseg are dispatched to investigate this mysterious youth.
Daylen returns home to find that Ahrek is still there. It turns out that the man from Ahrek’s vision was the de-aged Daylen. Before Daylen can process this, his neighbors (who had broken into his house) discover his confessional memoir. He quickly spins a story of how he is Dayless’s son. Ahrek declares that he will follow Daylen wherever he goes, to ensure that he does not become like his “father”.
From this point (about 20% of the way into the book) through the 60% mark, the story settles into a cycle. Daylen sets out with the intention of fighting the evils of the world, starting with the pirates of the Floating Isles (a place he tried and failed to clear out while he was Dayless). Along the way, his many flaws create friction between himself and other characters, while his abilities allow him to mow over any enemies in his path. Lyrah and Cueseg are initially hot on his heels, but while he is engaging a gang of pirates in the isles, they manage to get ahead of him and set a trap in the city of Highdawn.
Daylen and Ahrek eventually reach Highdawn, stumbling into Lyrah and Cueseg’s trap. Here is where Daylen is first overwhelmed in a straight fight. When he retreats, Ahrek negotiates a peaceful arrangement with the Archknights. Lyrah and Cueseg join their group as observers, to monitor Daylen until he is ready to join the Archknights properly.
The expanded group investigates a conspiracy by the Dawnists, revolutionaries who have romanticized the reign of Dayless the Conqueror, to destroy the Senate of Highdawn. They discover that the Dawnists plan to ram one of the Floating Isles into the city. As they scramble to respond to this threat, however, a complication arises: Ahrek has dug into Daylen’s supposed background and found irrefutable evidence that Daylen and Dayless are the same person. Ahrek then reveals to Daylen that he was the leader of the revolution that toppled Dayless in the first place, driven by the urge to avenge his family (victims of a genocide that Dayless ordered).
Thus the story enters its tumultuous final act. Daylen must battle against Ahrek, then Lyrah, then Ahrek again, all while struggling to reorient them towards the looming danger. Ahrek eventually defeats Daylen. Rather than slay Daylen, though, Ahrek comes to terms with his own rage and grief. He chooses to forgive Daylen, accepting that Daylen’s desire to help the world is genuine.
Ahrek and Daylen join the Archknight mobilization against the floating island that is bearing down on Highdawn. After battling Dawnists and Shade upon the isle, they discover that the island is too close to Highdawn to stop. Daylen uses his Lightbinding powers to enhance his sword, slicing the island in two. The bottom half crashes to the ground outside the city; the top half is propelled upward by its darkstone core, flying over the city.
In the aftermath, Daylen’s identity is revealed to the world. He surrenders himself to the authorities. The trial takes many weeks, allowing for both his official crimes and the personal grievances of his victims to be aired and judged. His noble deeds during the novel are also recounted, and he is declared a hero of the nation of Hamahra, though that status is promptly revoked for his many past crimes. Ultimately, Daylen is sentenced to a life of servitude with the Archknights, under Lyrah’s watchful eye. The story ends on a bittersweet note, with Daylen at peace and ready to devote himself fully to becoming a better man.
Analysis
This plot works as a character study of a former yet repentant tyrant, whose pride restricts his ability to atone for his sins. It is lopsided as an action story, with the power fantasy undermining the stakes and tension for most of the story. I think that it’s functional vehicle to convey the core themes (which we will get to next week). How much you enjoy this plot with depend on how much weight you assign to each of these aspects of the story (and, of course, whether you feel Daylen too unlikeable or irredeemable to follow through this journey).
What this plot lacks are character arcs. While I was satisfied with the characterization, I don’t feel like anyone has grown or changed. Sure, we got one of two pivotal decisions by the characters, but even those feel more like a reveal of who the characters are in stressful situations, rather than an active decision to evolve to meet the challenges they face. This isn’t a bad way to do character development, yet it does feel hollow if you were looking to go on a personal journey with these characters.
Series Potential
One interesting point that I’ve seen echoed by both critics and fans of this book is that Shadow of the Conqueror reads like the first book in a series. There are plenty of merits to this argument. The Dawnists were not wholly destroyed, and the Shade are still out there. We are introduced to many new elements late in the story. These are not explored, so they feel like setup for a sequel.
Personally, I hope that this is the end of Daylen’s story – or, at the very least, the end of his run as a main character. This narrative is functional as a standalone story for him. I’m also not certain whether further exploration of his growth would really be worthwhile. He’s already being punished for his pride, and he started out being critical of his own misdeeds. Maybe there’s a story here about learning to forgive oneself, or perhaps he could learn genuine humility, but I’m not sure whether that would be worth another novel (or if the many people who thoroughly dislike Daylen would be willing to return for more stories from his POV).
What I would be interested in reading is a story where other characters are the main POV. Lyrah could make for an interesting lead, though her story is inexorably tied to Daylen’s at this point. Alternatively, new characters might step forward to take the mantle. This is a big world with a lot of room for heroes.
I think that there is still potential for Daylen as a secondary character. Sword Art Online has provided a good example of how an overpowered character with an unlikeable personality can be drastically improved by reducing his role in the story. In the novel / manga arc / anime arc of Mother’s Rosary, Kirito effectively switches roles with Asuna, his loving and supportive girlfriend. He only intervenes in her story four times, twice by provide passive support and twice more to flex his abilities in opportune moments. Even when flexing, though, he was not saving the day so much as providing Asuna with a boost to overcome an otherwise insurmountable obstacle. Asuna still had to be the one to make a key choice and overcome the challenge. Pulling Daylen back into a similar supporting role could both redeem the character (in terms of the readers experience) and allows his powers to be applied in a less plot-breaking manner.
MENTAL HEALTH (Heavy Spoilers)
As promised last week, we are returning to take a closer look at how Shadow of the Conqueror handles mental health. I am not an expert of psychology, so I’m going to be examining this purely as an issue of writing quality, both in the issues presented and how they impact the quality of the reading experience. I’m also only to look at conditions that were specifically pointed out to me on the Shadiversity discord. We will go through these one at a time.
Setup
Characters with mental health problems are not objectively bad. There are many great stories that can be told about such individuals and their struggles. This can be done through exploring and addressing these issues or simply having it be an integral part of the character and how they interact with the world.
Where the problems start is when the mental health issues do not mesh with the story. I think this can be best summed up by two key questions:
Question 1: “Did the writer intend for this character to have mental health problems?”
Outside of the writer publicly sharing their intentions, it’s hard to be entirely certain whether a certain interpretation of the character is intentional or not. What we can do, though, is examine clues within the context of the story. How characters react to one another can be very telling as to whether they, and by extension the writer, have the same interpretation of behavior as the audience does.
A negative answer to this question does not inherently mean that a character is badly written, just as a positive answer does not mean that it is well written. Different interpretations of a character do not break a story. Also, not every writer starts out with a checklist of mental disorders they want to convey when writing their characters. A character can be diagnosed by readers after the fact as a means to contextualize that character. This doesn’t change how the story as a whole is interpreted, but it does help readers understand the events.
However, this question lends critical context to the next one.
Question 2: “Does the presence of these mental health problems undermine the story in any way?”
This is where problems really start to shine through. The presence or absence of a mental health issue can fundamentally break the internal logic of a plot or ruin the interpretation of a character. They can make a character who is supposed to be sympathetic feel alien to the intended audience, thereby ruining emotional investment. They can also radically reframe the actions of characters and how the narrative is treating them.
For example, James Halliday from Ready Player One and Ready Player Two is stated to have autism, with Asperger’s Syndrome being speculated as the specific disorder. (I should note that I haven’t read either book, so my knowledge on this comes from KrimsonRogue’s review of Ready Player Two and from the Ready Player One Wiki.) Ready Player Two then demonizes Halliday. As KrimsonRogue pointed out in his review, while the actions for which Halliday was being condemned weren’t right, this treatment of the character comes across as character assassination; when one then factors the autism into the equation, the demonization feels like active malice from the author towards a character who didn’t mean anyone serious harm and who had already repented his actions. The presence of this disorder made the supposed villain more sympathetic than what the author had intended.
Trauma & PTSD
Dayless the Conqueror traumatized a great many people. Lyrah grapples with the trauma of both being raped and of her self-induced abortion afterwards. Ahrek carries the unresolved trauma of his family’s deaths at Dayless’s hands. Cueseg grapples with his own sexual trauma, having been used and then made an outcast among the Tuerasians for his indiscretion. Sharra is also a victim of rape. At Daylen’s trial, an endless parade of other characters come from around the world to lay their pain at his feet.
Then there is Daylen. Sympathy for him will be a lost cause for most readers. Still, he does bears the horror and guilt for his crimes, not to mention the personal losses that drove him to become Dayless in the first place.
Shad wanted to explore this topic. He even put in the effort to show the ways different people deal with trauma. Daylen and Cueseg seek to control their environment; Ahrek chooses forgiveness; Lyrah cannot find forgiveness. The people who came to the trial with personal grievances were likewise divided. While his execution is not without issues, it is a core part of the story, so its inclusion doesn’t undermine the narrative.
Anti-Social Personality Disorder
I’m confident that Shad intended for Daylen to be unlikeable. Ahrek chastises Daylen for anti-social behavior on a regular basis, after all. However, I suspect Shad didn’t intend to take things quite this far.
It’s not like this disorder can’t be justified. Daylen underwent a very ugly transformation as Dayless, then spent 20 years sitting in a shack, first hating the world and then hating himself. I feel like this would push maybe people into developing an anti-social personality.
The problem is relatability. Daylen is meant to be our hero. Rooting for an unpleasant character is a very different animal from rooting for someone who’s no longer operating on the same wavelength as the majority of readers.
Personally, I don’t believe this problem destroys the overall quality of Daylen’s character. It’s connected to his flaws. However, it put a great many other people off from the story. People cannot connect to him. Even the fact that I praise the quality of Daylen’s writing has more to do with my approach to reading the book than my ability to personally connect with him.
So, yes, I do agree that this is indicative of an objective flaw in the writing. If Shad did intend for Daylen to have anti-social personality disorder, he should have recalibrated the reactions of other characters to properly reflect this. There should have been a stronger negative reaction to Daylen based on his personality, rather than so much emphasis being placed on disliking him for his heritage.
Bipolar Disorder
This one is a bit harder to interpret. It’s there, at least to the casual eye. Daylen flips to rage and sorrow quite violently. Reading him, it becomes clear why another name of this condition is “manic depression”. It’s just not clear if Shad meant for it to be there. Shad intended Daylen to be a man mentally broken by his guilt, yet that doesn’t mean that violent mood swings were supposed to be part of the package.
I think that this is a case of readers diagnosing a character to contextualize their actions. The inclusion of bipolar disorder doesn’t fundamentally change the interpretation of the character. At worst, it doesn’t mesh well with anti-social personality disorder in terms of the reader experience. It might not have been worth mentioning if Daylen had been a more likeable character.
Pedophiliac Disorder
There are a few of reasons why I don’t agree with applying this as a criticism of the writing.
First, I’m not sure whether it technically applies. Mental disorders are defined based upon deviations from the psychological norms as established by the surrounding society – and, while Dayless the Conqueror was a serial rapist, he didn’t deviate from the norms of society with regards to the age of his victims. He respected the age of consent for his society. It’s how he rationalized his behavior. He’s a sexual offender, to be sure, but given the available evidence, it’s a stretch to argue that he wouldn’t have conformed to our own standards for age of consent if those standards had existed in Everfall.
Let’s say that it does apply, though. That would make this another case of Shad aiming for characterization without thinking of a specific diagnosis. The sexual behaviors of Dayless are condemned vehemently, repeatedly, and from multiple angles. Shad intended for him to be seen as the most depraved of villains, the characters acknowledge this fact, and we the audience are on board with it.
It’s terrible for the reader experience. I’d argue that Shad was laying things on a little too thick, rather than trusting us to see Dayless as the villain based upon everything else that he did. The framework of the narrative supports it, though, so this is an issue of our subjective enjoyment being impaired rather than an objective flaw.
The Whole Package
Shad made mistakes in handling mental health in his story. However, in the grand scheme of things, it’s an issue of flawed execution. He took a character we were supposed to acknowledge as the bad guy and took things so far that we couldn’t relate to that character on a personal level. It’s terrible for the reader experience, yet given the subject matter he wanted to explore, it was a line that was easy to accidentally cross.
END OF PART 4
There we have it. The bones and brain of Shadow of the Conqueror have strong and weak aspects to them. Mistakes were made, in terms of both objective quality and the reader experience. There were also good intentions and elements that worked out.
Thank you all for bearing with me. We will conclude this grand review next week in Part 5, touching upon themes and my final conclusions. I hope to see you all then.
