Iron Flame (Chapter 39 & Chapter 40)
STATS
Title: Iron Flame
Series: The Empyrean (Book 2)
Author(s): Rebecca Yarros
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
First Printing: November 2023
Publisher: Red Tower Books
Rating: 1/10
SPOILER WARNING
Heavy spoilers will be provided for the entire story up through the end of the content covered in this part. Mild spoilers for elements later in the story may be provided, but I will keep the first paragraph of each section as spoiler-free as possible. Heavy spoilers from later in the book will be confined to clearly labelled sections.
STORY
The Sorrengail siblings continue their reunion in private. Mira is furious at Brennan for faking his death, while Brennan grows increasingly angry at her refusal to acknowledge his reasons for it, with Violet acting as an ineffective mediator. The fight ends when Xaden joins them. Violet uses this opportunity to announce that she’s figured out how to raise the wards around Aretia.
Violet, Xaden, Brennan, Bodhi, and the rebel leadership travel to the wardstone. Violet explains that the “six most powerful riders in residence” need to bleed on the stone. They attempt this, but nothing happens. Violet wallows in her guilt for multiple pages.
Violet then asks Xaden to take her to see Teclis about the luminary. Xaden refuses. Violet decides to ignore his warnings and go with her siblings to get the luminary themselves, bypassing Xaden to negotiate with Teclis directly.
The next day, Violet has a private Signet tutoring session with Felix, one of the leaders of the Aretia rebels. He chides her for her lack of accuracy and for not shooting the lightning from her hands, validates her for the immense magical power and emotional influence she possesses, and gifts her with a magical conduit to help her focus and control her power.
An unspecified period of time later, Violet flies into Poromiel with Mira and Brennan to treat with Teclis at his palace. They are escorted along the last leg of their flight by gryphon riders. When they arrive, they run into Xaden almost immediately.
PLOT
Chapter 39 is the best-written chapter in the entire series thus far, at least in terms of narrative quality. I realize that’s not a high bar to clear, and what we are given is far from flawless. It is nevertheless worth analyzing for why it works prior to getting into how it falls short.
Chapter 39 - The Good Things
Whedonism
During the Sorrengail reunion scene, Yarros has this running bit involving Brennan’s nose. That punch Mira threw at the end of Chapter 38 broke it. The reunion takes place whilst blood is gushing from Brennan’s face, with Violet trying to staunch the flow whilst Brennan and Mira are arguing.
The inclusion of this minor inconvenience adds a small amount of levity to the scene - emphasis on small. Unlike with A Master of Djinn, where the quips loudly forced themselves into scenarios where they did not fit, this is a situation that flows naturally from the end of Chapter 38. It bleeds off some of the tension from what otherwise would have been a very heavy scene.
There are, admittedly, some issues with how this is executed. I will get touch upon these issues when we talk about Characters and Prose. From the most part, though, this is effective balance of a comedic scenario with heavy character drama. It keeps the tone at a level that is consistent with the rest of the book.
Cause and Effect
Violet deciphered how to raise the wards.
Therefore, she and the others go to the wardstone and follow her translated instructions.
But the attempt fails.
As a result of this, Violet spirals into self-doubt and then demands that Xaden accept the inevitable.
However, Xaden refuses. (He’s being irrational, yet it is for a reason that is true to his characterization and personal experiences.)
Therefore, Violet decides to bypass Xaden and negotiate with Teclis directly.
This scene is a perfect example of how cause and effect should drive the narrative. Everything flows naturally from something that came before. Nothing clashes with the reality that is presented to us through the worldbuilding or past plot beats. The only points where characters are acting irrationally are fully explicable by consistent characterization.
This shouldn't be a remarkable inclusion, either in this book series or modern storytelling in general, yet it is now enough of a rarity that we must highlight it.
Also, on the point of Violet’s self-doubt specifically: thus far, this is the only instance of that self-doubt that is narratively functional (though it is still very flawed, as we will get into later). Violet thought she had solved the rebels’ problems, only to find out that she was wrong. It makes sense for NOW to be the point where it hits her that, by first pursuing the journal and then inciting a mass defection of the Riders Quadrant, she has put people whom she cares about in a vulnerable position. What’s more, unlike with the other insecurities, this problem can't be handwaved via validation. Violet can only fix this by taking specific actions, and the story acknowledges this. If Violet’s insecurities began and ended with this event, then the overall inclusion of this internal conflict could have been a meaningful opportunity for growth rather than lazy writing for a flawless Mary Sue.
Pacing
Yarros has not wasting time in this part. Rather than having us spend nearly 20 chapters while the plot spins its wheels, she has jumped directly from the two chapters of reset into the meat of the plot. Much like with the heist, this is a return to a far more refreshing and engaging pace.
Romantic Strife
After wasting all of Part One on utter nonsense, Yarros has finally introduced a functional conflict into the romantic dynamic between Violet and Xaden, conflict that does not demand that the audience switch their brains off.
It makes perfect sense for Violet to be at odds with Xaden over the issue of Teclis and the luminary. Violet is strongly motivated to take her position: practical necessity is on her side, and she is also seeking a proactive means to atone for failing her loved ones (as she sees it). Xaden is strongly motivated to take his position: he has always been protective of Violet, and he has history with Teclis. He knows that Teclis does not have Violet’s best interests at heart.
Even if we were to oversimplify this conflict to “overprotective boyfriend stops the Mary Sue from doing what’s Good” (which Violet herself will do in the opening of Chapter 40), the conflict is still a natural progression of their characters, the events they are participating in, and the world on which they exist. In plain terms, this works. It honestly makes me wonder why Yarros wasted our time with the security clearance issue back in Part One when she is capable of writing better dynamics.
Chapter 39 - The Bad Things
Contrived Success
Unfortunately, the marvelous chain of cause and effect kicks into gear with more arbitrary contrivance.
Here is Violet describing her progress with translating the wardstone instructions in Chapter 38, at the start of the Battle Brief, mere minutes before Mira’s arrival.
“I’ve translated the section we need three times, and I think I’m close.” My smile echoes theirs because I think I might actually have it. “I know it’s been three days, but I’m a little rusty, and it’s the oddest form of magic I’ve ever read about, which is probably why it’s never been done twice.”
“But you think it will work?” Sloane asks with blatant hope in her eyes.
“I do.” I nod, straightening my shoulders like the weight of their expectations is physical. “I just need to be sure it’s right.”
We then get the Battle Brief, Mira’s arrival, and the Sorrengail reunion. Violet ends the reunion scene thusly:
I let my hands fall from Xaden’s face, then glance at my brother and sister. Everything I really, truly love—everyone I can’t live without—is here, and for the first time in my life, I can protect them. “I need the blood of the six most powerful riders.”
Brennan’s brows fly upward, and Mira’s nose wrinkles like she’s just swallowed sour milk.
“Ever? Or living now?” Xaden asks without batting an eye.
“Why?” Brennan asks, water dripping from his fist.
“In residence, I think,” I reply to Xaden, then turn to face my siblings and take a steadying breath. “I know how to raise the wards.”
If Violet was this certain that she could raise the wards before, why did she not do that immediately? Why did she endanger everyone by keeping the information to herself and going to class?
If Violet was not certain before, or if she felt she needed more time to ensure she got things right, what caused her to suddenly become certain that she had everything translated to an adequate degree of accuracy? It can’t simply be that Mira has arrived. Violet did not even think about Mira being on the opposite team until Mira and her defectors arrived. It’s not like that fact was holding her back. What made her flip on a dime?
This reads as though Yarros outlined the book with these three scenes in this specific order, and rather than add the necessary transitions or do a timeskip or whatever else was needed for this to make sense, she decided to just bulldoze forward and assume her audience was not intelligent enough to notice this glaring flaw.
Contrived Failure
While Violet wallowing in her insecurity makes sense in terms of cause and effect, her train of thought while she is wallowing is laughably forced.
Here is the translation of the instructions for activating the wardstone, as presented in the Chapter 39 epigraph.
The blood of life of the six and the one combined and set the stone ablaze in an iron rain.
Here is Violet wallowing.
Failure clogs my throat, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I did everything right. I researched, and read, and stole a primary source. I translated and double-checked. This is supposed to be the solution. It’s everything I’ve been working on for months, the key to keeping everyone safe.
Did we bleed the wrong six riders? Is there an element of magic I missed? Something more to the blood? What did I miss?
Look back at that quote from the start of Battle Brief. The very same day that they attempted to activate the wardstone, Violet admitted that she needed more time to work on her translation. She was not ready. Why was her first reaction here not, “I rushed things, and now I need to revisit the translation?” Why does she tell herself that she did everything right and then wonder what impossible, unknowable thing she could possibly have missed?
This doesn’t even make sense if we take Chapter 39 in isolation. Here are the instructions Violet gives to the participating riders:
“According to Warrick, the First Six bled their life—” I start.
Every head swivels my direction.
“I don’t think it means to death,” I quickly clarify. “Clearly the six lived on after they constructed Basgiath’s wards.” There’s a definite sigh of relief around me. “With any luck, it’ll be a quick cut across the palm, place our hands on the wardstone, and we should have wards.”
“In an iron rain,” Bodhi says slowly.
Now look back at the epigraph. Violet ignored the very obvious “iron rain” element - a fact Yarros called attention to by having Bodhi repeat that detail (for no in-character reason, which makes it even more glaring).
When I first read this, I thought, “Why doesn’t Violet consider that this variable is the source of the failure?” At the time, I assumed “iron rain” referred to a meteor shower. The wardstone is established in this very scene to be a meteor, and Violet herself draws the “iron rain” connection. It seemed like Violet would have to wait for another meteor shower to activate the wards.
Unfortunately, Yarros’s intention with this line is something far less clever.
I’ll get to what Yarros meant in a second. First, we need to reflect on a piece of terribly delivered exposition.
Family Lines
“By our best calculations,” Brennan says, rubbing his hands together to keep warm, “the six most powerful riders currently in Aretia are Xaden, Felix, Suri, Bodhi, Violet, and me.”
“Looks like there’s something to be said for family lines,” Suri notes.
What does Suri mean by this?
On my first read, I thought, “Oh, it’s referring to powerful rider families. Xaden and Bodhi are cousins, while Brennan and Violet are siblings. Maybe Suri and/or Felix are related to each other or these other families. Yarros did make a point of calling out how important bloodline preservation is to riders back in Fourth Wing.”
However, what Yarros actually means is that the six most powerful riders are, conveniently, each bonded to a dragon of a different color. This is meant to be her way of telling us that all the colors of dragons must be present to activate the wardstone. The audience needs to understand this rule for later events in the plot to make sense.
Wow, did Yarros screw this up.
Without reading back, who actually remembers what color Bodhi’s, Felix’s, and Suri’s dragons are? I can’t remember whether Brennan's dragon is orange or brown, and I’m not sure their dragons' colors have ever been mentioned, let alone been narratively relevant. How were we supposed to conclude that “family lines” in this context refers to dragon color?
The fact that the six most powerful dragons in Aretia are also all different colors is beyond contrived. I’m happy to assume that Sgayel and Tairn are among the two most powerful dragons: black and blue dragons have been established to be the most powerful colors, we know black dragons are rare, and blue dragons are implied to be rare, so the idea that the six most powerful dragons at Aretia would include exactly one black and one blue dragon makes sense. However, the chance that the remaining four dragons would include exactly one each of brown, green, red, and orange dragons is roughly 0.4% - and that’s if we assume that those four colors are of equal strength. This is a massive coincidence, not causation.
At no point has it been established that the six most powerful dragons in any given area must necessarily be of different bloodlines. In fact, the classification of black dragons as the most powerful, followed by blue dragons, actively counters this. If another black or blue dragon was present, that dragon should knock one of the other four dragons out of the grouping. Suri is outright talking out of her ass by drawing this connection.
All of this is before we remember that Yarros has all the colors of dragons interbreeding, with the expressed color not being predictable (except by den leaders, somehow) until puberty, meaning this bloodline nonsense is pointless anyway. These dragons should be genetic sock drawers with tangled bloodlines.
Yarros delivered this plot-critical information in a manner that makes no sense at face value and clashes with the rest of the setting of one thinks about it for even a second.
Translation Expert (Heavy Spoilers)
While relaying her translation to the rebel leadership, Violet chooses to demand valdiation for her intelligence.
“One second.” I pull Warrick’s journal from the protective leather pouch inside my flight jacket and flip to the translated parchment I left at the passage before glancing up at the stone to compare the drawings. The symbol Warrick drew isn’t identical, but it has the runes in the same positions, so that’s a good sign. “Here we go. ‘And we gathered the six most powerful riders in residence,’” I read from the parchment, “‘and the blood of the six and the one combined and set the stone ablaze in an iron rain.’” I glance around the line. “Six”—I point to the stone—“and the one.”
“You want us to bleed on the wardstone?” Felix asks, his silver brows rising.
“I’m just telling you how Warrick and the First Six did it.” I hold the journal up. “Unless there’s someone here more capable of translating Old Lucerish?”
No one speaks.
“Right.” I dip my chin and study the rest of the translation.
This is another instance of Yarros’s self-indulgent, self-insert, valdiation power fantasy screwing with the narrative.
Violet is going to fail in a second, and the possibility that she mistranslated the journal is not going to even be acknowledged. In fact, as we covered above, that possiblity is swatted aside. Yarros is directly telling us that Violet could not have screwed up her translation.
I therefore have no problems pointing out that Yarros is once again lying to her audience. She’s not presenting information through a biased POV. She is not peeling open new layers over time. She is telling us here that Violet did everything right so that she can turn around later and force not one but two twists: one in Chapter 51, and the other in Chapter 63.
In Chapter 51, it is revealed that Violet mistranslated the words “rain” and “blood”. They should be “flame” and “breath”. The wardstone needs to be set on fire by dragon breath to activate.
In Chapter 63, we learn that “the six and the one” is actually “the seven”.
The reason I am making such a big deal over translation errors is because Yarros is using them to arbitrarily drive her narrative. She is denying information from the audience merely so that she can inject it back into the narrative when it conveniences the story she is desperate to tell. Had Violet behaved like a “rational woman” and taken the extra time to review her translations with someone else who speaks Old Lucerish (as you may recall, Dain also speaks it), the entire chain of cause and effect that I just praised would never have happened. We would instead have followed a chain that skipped most of the events between Chapter 39 and Chapter 51 and fundamentally changed the climax of this book.
Chapter 40 - Sue-pecial Tutoring Session
Once again, Yarros pisses away an opportunity for meaningful character growth.
Violet does need training in her Signet. Her inability to aim her lightning has been established as a weak point for her. What’s more, because it is fueled by her emotions, which she also can’t control, any moment of heightened emotional intensity is a threat to those around her.
This was a golden opportunity for her to start a journey of self-improvement. Felix could take her to task for her character flaws. Violet could begin to improve herself. As she grows as a person, her powers will grow too, yielding a tangible reward for internal growth.
Of course, that would imply that Yarros’s self-insert Mary Sue is not perfect.
It’s Not Your Fault
“Your lack of aim, of control, is not your fault. It’s Carr’s.”
In that one line from Felix, Yarros drops a cyclonic torpedo on this scene. She rips away any potential to explore Violet’s flaws. She drains any substance from Violet wallowing in insecurity over her powers.
This heavenly creature cannot fail. If she falls short or goes astray, the sin lies with others - conveniently, those whom the heavenly creature already despises.
Lack of Substance
Even before Yarros drops the torpedo, this scene feels narratively pointless.
The focus of this tutoring should be on Violet’s lack of control over her emotions. That’s the whole reason this tutoring session is happening. Felix noticed Violet building up a magical charge as she wallowed over the wardstone not activating in Chapter 39 and declares that she needs to train with him.
Why, then, does the scene obsess over Violet’s lack of aim and her inability to shoot the lightning directly from her hands (versus calling it from the sky)? Even before Yarros reveals that she has no intention of actually holding Violet accountable, this feels off.
Violet’s lack of accuracy works as a limit on her powers. It was consistently handled in Fourth Wing. However, it has never been a functional obstacle. The only time that she has absolutely needed to hit a target and couldn’t merely rely on spray-and-pray tactics was to kill the venin controlling the swarm of wyverns at the end of the climax. She was successful. In the time since then, her lack of aim has not been a problem, as she simply doesn’t have reason to use this power on a regular basis. It’s not even like the climax of this book will be dictated by Violet’s ability to aim. Other factors are far more important and ultimately decide the finale. There are a few lesser important action scenes where the lack of aim is presented as an obstacle, but every time, Violet swats the problem aside through contrived nonsense, and the scenes themselves are all arbitrary ones that are every bit as pointless as the action scenes in A Master of Djinn. To make a long story short, Yarros is making a massive deal out of something that has not previously been an issue so that she can justify contrived scenes down the line, and she’s not even going to use it effectively within those contrived scenes.
Her inability to shoot it from her hands is the same issue, but worse. She’s never needed to shoot it from her hands. Frankly, given how overpowered this ability is, she’s going to predominantly be using it under open skies anyway. There is no established benefit to her working on this particular aspect of her Signet.
Imagine if Sword Art Online tried to make Kirito’s limited ability to cook for himself into a subplot of a story arc. No one in the audience cares that the man can’t cook anything but pasta pepperoncini. We all know that the finale of any given arc will hinge on him engaging some manner of god mode and killing things with a sword. Kirito’s weakness as a cook does not have narrative weight. It’s functional as a topic of banter with his girlfriend, but nothing else.
Violet having a weakness is fine, but if Yarros is going to make a big deal out of that weakness, it needs to matter.
Burned-Out Gaslight
Before I explain why Yarros blaming Carr for Violet’s flaws doesn’t even make sense, let’s go over how she gaslights us a mere half-page after shifting the blame.
“Apparently Carr never taught you that, either.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” I look from the or up to Felix as the first flakes of snow flutter down. “If I was the best weapon?”
A corner of his mouth lifts into a wry smile. “Knowing Carr, I’d say he’s scared shitless of you. After all, you just took half of their cadets without evena plan. You brought down Basgiath on a fucking whim, no less.”
What was that procedure in Yarros’s Gaslightig for Dummies tutorial?
Ah, yes.
Discredit: Carr is afraid of Violet’s power. We shouldn't waste any time considering the possibility that he had a practical reason for his approach to training her Signet.
Deflect: Look at what a rebel Violet is! Of course he fears her!
Distract: The scene transitions into more of Violet wallowing in pointless insecurity.
The thing is, Ms. Yarros, I read the last book. I read this one. I therefore remember that Carr was actively training Violet Signet for a MONTH prior to the climax of Fourth Wing, and therefore, a month before she got drawn into the trap set for Xaden and was marked as a rebel element. I also remember that the only thing he’s ever feared is that Violet might die, thereby taking her rare Signet with her. That’s why he stood up to Draconis in Chapter 13, and probably why you felt compelled to remind us that he was still a Bad Teacher in that same scene. It is genuinely insulting to the intelligence of your audience that you would even attempt to gaslight us like this.
Which brings us back to why blaming Carr makes no sense.
As any teacher can attest, you don’t simply chuck your students into the deep end. The basics come first. You don’t start off a martial arts trainee on spinning kicks and over-the-shoulder throws. Instead, you start with basic physical fitness, the simplest kicks, and the stances needed to ensure that they don’t collapse when they heave the weight of another human being off the ground. You don’t start off Japanese elementary schoolers on English’s past perfect tense. Instead, elementary school is about building confidence, then vocabulary, then simple sentences, and finally the most basic uses past simple tense (and then you just leave past perfect until middle school.)
Violet’s power is to unleash explosive bursts of lightning, which Carr, as an expert in Signets, knows can potentially kill her via hyperthermia. He therefore focused on building her endurance first. After all, she was going to have two full years under his tutelage before she ever saw combat. He had time to teach her things like aiming and shooting power directly from her hands after he was confident that she won’t drop dead in the middle of training.
And then Violet ruined everything by leading her revolt.
In short, Ms. Yarros, no. Carr is blameless. This is entirely Violet’s fault.
What Could Have Been
Rather conveniently, there is an example of a flawed, emotionally unstable protagonist who struggles and fails to master the power of lightning due to said emotional instability, only to undergo personal growth and thus increase his power: Prince Zuko, from Avatar: The Last Airbender (the animated show).
In Season 2, Episode 9 (“The Bitter Work"), Zuko asks Uncle Iroh to train him to generate lightning, believing that it is the power needed for him to level the playing field against his sister Azula. This technique demands emotional stability. Needless to stay, it literally explodes in Zuko’s face - several times. When Zuko is ready to quit out of sheer frustration, Iroh steps in and lays out Zuko’s flaws. (A licensed clip that includes all three scenes of this part of the subplot is available here, though it is broken up with a few minutes of the main plot in the middle.)
This is followed by Iroh teaching Zuko the technique to redirect lightning (of which I could not find a licensed clip). Zuko is eager to practice this, but Iroh refuses, rightfully pointing out how insanely dangerous it would be to shoot lightning at Zuko. Filled with insecurity, Zuko climbs a mountain during a storm as screams at the sky, demanding that lightning strike him so that he can prove himself.
It is not until Season 3, Episode 11 (“The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”) that Zuko finally has the opportunity to redirect lightning. By this point, Zuko has wrestled with his demons and emerged from the other side. He has grown as a person. When he faces Fire Lord Ozai, Zuko demonstrates his growth by redirecting Ozai’s lightning blast. (You can view a condensed cut of that scene here.)
This is not the end of Zuko’s growth, either as a person or in terms of power. His arc has layers to it. His journey will not end until he fights the Agni Kai against Azula in the series finale. However, even there, this stage of his personal journey pays off, with him intercepting the lightning blast meant to kill Katara. It puts him on his ass, but given that he was completely off-balance when he intercepted that lightning, that doesn’t derail the pattern of growth.
Violet could have a character arc that was every bit as redeeming and powerful as Zuko’s.
But unless her flaws are acknowledged within the story itself, she can’t even start it.
CHARACTERS
Violet
The Woes of the Sue
The insecurity conflict in this chapter remains a worthless Mary Sue cop-out. The trigger makes more sense than the wallowing of past chapters, but because Yarros frames it as Violet slamming into some unforeseen obstacle, rather than acknowledging that she rushed things and could have made a translation error, there is ultimately no meaningful growth here. The fault that should have been admitted was outright dismissed as a possibility.
Also, there is a line in the midst of this episode of wallowing that truly captures Violet’s essence as a Mary Sue.
I don’t fail. I’ve never failed anything in my life. Well, that first RSC land navigation, but that doesn’t count. That was everyone. This is me.
No acknowledgement of all the ways she cheated or relied on the help of others to survive Fourth Wing. There is no admission of character flaws. There is no humility. There is only narcissism. “This is me.” All Violet cares about, all she will admit to, is that, in the moment that should have glorified her has fallen short of the mark.
More Validation
Rather than showing us that Violet is tenacious, Yarros tells us by awkwardly crowbarring in an anecdote.
“Violet!” Brennan shouts, running to catch up with me.
“Go away,” I snap at my brother.
“With that look on your face? I don’t think so.”
“What look?” I shoot a glare in his direction, even though I know this isn’t his fault.
“The same one you had at eight years old, when you stared Mom down over a plate of squash for twelve straight hours.”
“I’m sorry?” Rocks crunch underfoot as we make our way down the path to Riorson House.
“Twelve. Hours.” He nods. “Dad said to let you go to bed, that you weren’t going to eat them, and Mom said you weren’t going to sleep until you did.”
“What’s your point?”
“When I got up the next morning, Mom and Dad were both asleep at the table, and you were snacking on bread and cheese. I know that face, Violet. When you dig in about something, you’re more tenacious than all of us put together, so no, I won’t be going away.”
Moments like these are why Show, Don’t Tell became a central tenant of writing narrative fiction. Had we been SHOWN this moment, it would be fine. Going on a half-page tangent when all Brennan needed to say was, “I know you’re not going to just let the issue of the luminary go,” is just a waste of time.
I strongly suspect that Yarros is relating a scenario with one of her own children, one she felt a compulsive need to share, and that this was just her way of ramming it into the story. I sincerely hope that I am wrong about that, for the simple reason that this story does not actually show that the child is tenacious. It instead shows is that the parent failed to consider her own limits, issued an ultimatum that she couldn’t follow through on, and thus taught her child that she is a fool who can easily be outlasted.
In a different story, with different characters, maybe this could work. It does not work here. In the context of this story, the mother in question in General Sorrengail, and this anecdote is character assassination.
Neither version of General Sorrengail would by overpowered like this. If Violet did stay awake longer than her mother and then steal food, she would surely be punished. If Violet was not punished for this, and this is indeed supposed to demonstrate tenacity that is greater than General Sorrengail’s, then where was this tenacity in Fourth Wing? Why did Violet let General Sorrengail bully her into the Riders Quadrant if she could just stare her mother down until Conscription Day was over? Why did she not flout her mother’s warnings and either join the Scribes Quadrant right out the gate or take one of the escape routes that Dain offered her?
What Is Wrong With This Woman?!
Xaden vetoed my second pitch to head to Cordyn like an overprotective asshole, and then I happily took him to bed, content with my own plans. He was gone again to look for more Navarrian deserters before I woke up this morning.
If I didn’t feel him in my swollen lips and every sore muscle in my body, I’d almost think I dreamed him coming back yesterday.
Remind me why we’re supposed to be celebrating that Xaden got together with with this hateful sex addict?
Mira
Chapter 38 and 39
I think that Mira’s characterization in Chapters 38 and 39 is functional. Yes, her validation of Violet is par for the course, and yes, her outrage at Brennan basically rehashes what we already got between Violet and Brennan back in Chapter 2 (something Violet herself points out to try to calm Mira down), but at least that is consistent. I fully believe that Mira, as she has been established, would react to Violet’s defection and the reveal that Brennan is alive in the way that she did.
That being said, half of the reason that the comic relief in the reunion scene goes too far is Mira acting like a whiny teenager, which is not in keeping with her established character.
First, the rebel soldiers who are on hand don’t react well to Brennan being assaulted. Brennan had to call them off. We then get this from Mira after she hears his current rank.
“Lieutenant Colonel?” Mira’s gaze swings from Ulices to Brennan, and she folds herarms across her chest. “At least playing dead for six years earns you rank.”
Nrennan shoots her a look before turning toward Ulices. “I’m fine. Everyone can relax. I’ve had worse injuries sparring.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time I broke his nose.” Mira offers a saccharine-sweet smile to Ulices, whose eye narrows on my sister.
It’s the smile that’s off here. Outrage makes sense in this context. However, Mira has been a professional soldier for a few years now. She shouldn’t be a caricature out of Mean Girls.
We then get this glib remark right before Violet announces that she can raise the wards.
“So what are the Sorrengail siblings going to do now that you’re all reunited?” Xaden asks, lifting his head to look at my family.
“We’re going to beat the shit out of our brother,” Mira answers with a smile.
This doesn’t feel natural, either in terms of who Mira is supposed to be or the situation in which this is occuring. Are we supposed to be taking Mira’s rage seriously?
Chapter 40
Yarros destroys Mira.
Here’s Mira’s reason for going with Violet to see Teclis.
“Just so you know, I’m only doing this because doing everything you ever ask for the rest of our lives still wouldn’t make up for me not believing you.”
This is not how real people talk. At most, it’s how real people fantasize about the humbling of those whom have wronged them. This is so bizarre. Mira has morphed from a trope into another strawman for Yarros to play with, tripping over herself to raise up Violet.
Also, we learn that Mira is indeed Violet’s sister. She is every bit as spiteful. In response to Brennan coming along, she scoffs, “You’re only here because of the rank on your uniform,” before turning around and taunting him with, “Feel free to stay in the place you’ve called home for six years.” This bitch is grasping for any excuse to spite the person she is angry at, even as he is actively helping her to achieve her stated goal of helping Violet.
Brennan
Finally, at long last, Yarros lays bare Brennan’s soul, using the shouting match with Mira to expose hidden depths and motivations. We now understand the man he was before, back when he “died” as a war hero to end the previous Tyrrish rebellion, and why he changed his life so radically to -
Wait, what?
That doesn’t happen?
We learn absolutely nothing new about Brennan?
All we get is confirmation that he joined the rebels because That’s Good?
Well, that’s disappointing.
For a third time, Yarros has dangled the opportunity for us to learn more about Brennan’s character, only to pay it off with nothing. The closest we get is this line here:
“And as for our mother.” Brennan stands. “I hope my death haunts her every damned day. She was so willing to sacrifice my life for a lie.”
This is nothing. Much like Violet, the only thing we’ve had to work with for why Brennan so radically changed his colors is that helping the rebels is Good, and opposing them is Bad. Telling us that he’s angry about being lied to doesn’t add anything of substance. When did he learn the truth? How did he learn the truth? How did this change him? How did this reinforce his established character traits?
The reason I keep coming back to this point is that Yarros neglected to do the bare minimum of character work for ANYONE defecting to the Aretia rebels. Everyone who is not already involved in the cover-up either throws away their old lives upon learning the truth or has the ability to throw away their old lives taken away by their dragons. This is not how human beings operate. We are very good at developing excuses, rationalizations, and compromises to allow us to stick to our guns and allegiances even when presented with unpleasant information. This is especially true if there is an element of necessity to sticking to our guns - you know, like the necessity Xaden pointed out while threatening the gryphon fliers in Chapter 28.
What makes Brennan an especially glaring problem is that we have so little about him, yet what we have actively contradicts him defecting. He “died” a war hero to put down the previous rebellion. It’s not impossible for such a dedicated loyalist to become a rebel, but Yarros has done nothing to bridge the gap. She spent one book telling us that he was one character, only to reverse and tell us that he is just someone else now.
It wouldn’t have taken much to fix this. A single scene of conversation between Violet and Brennan (perhaps replacing the one that focused on scones) could have walked us through Brennan’s journey from war hero to rebel leader. Not only would this fix his character, but it would also provide us with an example of how people of Navarre could change so radically when presented with just one piece of information that contradicts their previous worldview. We could understand the journey that every other defector goes on by using Brennan as a meter stick.
WORLDBUILDING
It should come as no surprise that Yarros can’t introduce new rules into the world without splattering life-eater virus all over the place.
The Six
The fact that the wardstone requires representatives from each of the colors of dragon in order to activate is fine. While dragon coloration has been a superficial and nonsensical element within this story, we have at least been told that there are meaningful differences between the colors in terms of power and temperament. It’s not that big of a stretch that magic whose ultimate purpose it to protect a communal nesting ground would require representatives from the different colors of dragon within that community.
The problem is the specific qualifiers of those representatives.
“I need the blood of the six most powerful riders.”
Brennan’s brows fly upward, and Mira’s nose wrinkles like she’s just swallowed sour milk.
“Ever? Or living now?” Xaden asks without bating an eye.
“Why?” Brennan asks, water dripping from his fist.
“I residence, I think,” I reply to Xaden, then turn to face my siblings and take a steadying breath. '“I know how to raise the wards.
The six most powerful riders (really, the six most powerful dragons) … in residence.
This opens up so many questions, none of which will be acknowledged or answered.
What happens if it is not the six most powerful dragons? What happens if one or most of the dragons are random specimens of their color? Would the wardstone not activate? Would the wards be weaker or have a smaller radius of effectiveness?
What is the limit on “in residence”? How long does a dragon need to stay in proximity to the wardstone to be counted as a “resident”? Could any visiting dragon fulfill this requirement? What if the “resident” leaves - how long until that dragon is no longer considered a “resident”, and what happens to the wardstone when one of the dragons who activated it changes its residency status? What is a dragon more powerful than one of these six settles in the area - would the wardstone fail because one of its six participants has been knocked off the pedestal?
What happens if one of the dragons who activated the wardstone dies? We have not been told that dragons are ageless, nor is it indicated that any of the dragons who activated the Basgiath wardstone are still alive, so it’s not a stretch to assume that at least a few of those dragons are dead by now. Does the wardstone reconnect to the next-most powerful dragon of that color? What does it do to the wards if this dragon is substantially weaker than its predecessor?
Given the genetic sock drawer issue, could the representative for any one color be replaced by another color if the replacement has enough of the first dragon’s color in its bloodline (say, if Tairn and Sgaeyl had a hatchling who was green, could this dragon stand in for either the blue or the black dragon)?
These questions are made particularly pressing by the mass defection at the end of Part One. Sgayel and Tairn have been hammered upon as two of the most powerful dragons at Basgiath. While Melgren’s dragon is implied to be stronger than Tairn, meaning that Tairn would not have been the strongest black dragon “in residence”, we have been given nothing regarding a blue dragon that is stronger than Sgaeyl. Shouldn’t her change in residence have caused catastrophic damage to the wards protecting most of Navarre?
The One (Heavy Spoilers)
We are not done with the contrived mistranslations covered up in Plot. While this is an element that will not be revealed until Chapter 63 and 64, I feel that it is important to cover it here. This is the point where Yarros lies to the audience so as to pretend that this element is a big twist. Furthermore, Chapters 63 and 64 have enough to criticize as it is. We might as well get this out of the way.
The single greatest lie that Yarros tells to the audience is that the “one” referenced in “the blood of the six and the one combined” is the wardstone. That is the conclusion that Violet jumps to. We are supposed to believe that this was the only logical conclusion, since Violet does not then question her own translation and assumes some unknown X factor is the cause of her failure.
All of this is only possible because the author of this journal looked at seven bloodlines of dragons and decided to get cute with the description of the wardstone activation. The other journal very bluntly states that seven bloodlines of dragon need to participate.
Why did the author of this journal not say that there were seven bloodlines? Why isolate the rainbow dragons as their own entity? Why was the rider of the seventh dragon (and, given how the twist is presented in Chapters 63 and 64, the seventh dragon needs to have a rider for the wardstone to work) never mentioned in this journal?
Furthermore, Violet is supposed to be the smartest person in any room. She has trained as a scribe. She is passionate about old folklore. She speaks dead languages. How did she never come across any historical or mythological reference to rainbow dragons? How did she ever think that the “one” referred to the wardstone, instead of a seventh type of dragon?
The only way to make sense of this is if rainbow dragons are meant to be these spontaneously manifesting, messianic figures … and that makes things worse. There should absolutely be some reference to rainbow dragons that Violet would have heard of if they are that important. This rare and majestic being would be immortalized in Navarre’s culture, both because of its significance to history and because it would serve as a nexus around which the scribes could build Navarre’s new, homogenized culture.
On top of the lie itself, we must also reflect back upon the wardstone question. Andarna is going to be presented to us as a Chosen One in her own right, the last of the rainbow dragons, who has waited centuries to hatch so that she could be with the self-insert Mary Sue. (Yes, we will tear into this when the time comes.) Why did the wards emanating from the Basgiath wardstone not collapse after the previous rainbow dragon died? If the answer is that Andarna became the new rainbow dragon “in residence”, even within her egg, then shouldn’t the Basgiath wardstone have failed as soon as she became a resident of Aretia?
Runes
While Felix is explaining to Violet how the Signet conduit device works, we get this exchange.
“The runes etched into the conduit are woven to draw specific power. I wove these specifically for you the last time you were here, but you were forced to leave before I could teach you how to use it. I’d hoped you wouldn’t need it, honestly, but it seems Carr hasn’t changed much in the six years I’ve been gone.”
“Runes?” I repeat like a bird, staring at the etched shapes.
“Yes. Runes. Wielded power woven for set purposes.” He exhales slowly. “Which you know nothing about because Basgiath doesn’t teach Tyrrish runes, even if the collect was fucking built on them. Guess we’ll ask Trissa to teach the class. She has the most patience out of the assembly.”
I want to hold off on discussing runes until Chapter 45 (so, two weeks), as that’s where most of their exposition is (and where most of the flaws of their inclusion are exposed). Just keep this bit about Basgiath not teaching them, despite Felix acting like they are very important, in mind. (Also note that yet another rebel leader is going to be burdened with teaching cadets instead of … you know … handling the logistics, diplomacy, and strategy of a rebellion.)
PROSE / VOICE
The handling of the comedy in the Sorrengail reunion scene is mostly on point. Mira’s immature and quippy moments are detrimental to the balance of comedy and drama, but they are not obstrusive.
No, the obtrusive bit is how Yarros had Violet and Mira overreacting to blood.
Chapter 39 begins thusly.
So. Much. Blood.
At best, this overdramatizes a nosebleed. I’m not inclined to write it off that easily, as Yarros later has this in Violet’s internal monologue:
Brennan nods, and blood trickles off his chin.
Gross.
Has Violet not been training as a soldier for more than a year? Has she not seen ample amounts of blood, both in training and in actual combat? Has she not killed people with weapons designed to draw blood?
As someone who does get lightheaded at the sight of blood, I can understand someone having this reaction overall. I could also understand the sight of blood triggering post-traumatic stress within Violet, given everything she’s been through. For her to just go, “Blood is icky,” does not feel appropriate to her character or to the situation at hand. You can feel Yarros trying to lighten the mood by having Violet approach the situation as a preadolescent would.
Mira’s reaction likewise feels off.
“I need the blood of the six most powerful riders.”
Brennan’s brows fly upward, and Mira’s nose wrinkles like she’s just swallowed sour milk.
Hasn’t Mira been exposed to bloody violence for far longer than Violet? She doesn’t even have the benefit of a Signet that can kill without drawing blood. Why is she this grossed out by blood?
HOUSE OF TECLIS
It’s time for us to pick up the pace a bit.
Chapters 41 and 42 detail Violet’s efforts to get the luminary from Teclis. This is also where the Jealous conflict kicks into gear. After that, Chapters 43 through 44 detail the immediate aftermath of bargaining with Teclis, including a tide of fresh Red Shirts for us to not remember or care about until Yarros sacrifices them.
These chapters preserve the chain of cause and effect that started here in Chapter 39. They also preserve the narrative momentum. There is a continuous sense that the narrative is progressing, ensuring that they can at least hold the reader’s attention. On a first read, I felt that these were some of the strongest chapters in Part Two.
On a second read … well, they’re certainly memorable, but any strength is relative.
The acquisition of the luminary is the only element within these chapters that actually matters, and it is a footnote to hollow drama. The few developments outside of the luminary are superficially interesting but ultimately have no impact of the larger narrative. With the added knowledge that these chapters are only happening because Yarros lied to the audience to make them happen, the entire enterprise just adds to this book’s bloat.
Nevertheless, we shall charge forth through it next Friday. I hope to see you all then. Have a good week.
