Notorious Sorcerer (Part 5)
STATS
Title: Notorious Sorcerer
Series: The Burnished City (Book 1)
Author(s): Davinia Evans
Genre: Fantasy fiction
First Printing: September 2022
Publisher: Orbit
Rating: 3/10
SPOILER WARNING
Heavy spoilers will be needed to really explore the topics covered in this part. I will keep the first paragraph of section as spoiler-free as possible in case you want to skim and then read the book for yourself before coming back for the full analysis. The Conclusion section, down below, will have only mild spoilers, so skip down to that if you haven’t read the book and really don’t want anything important spoiled.
PLOT
Most of the issues that could be discussed with the plot of Notorious Sorcerer have already been touched upon while assessing the characters and the worldbuilding. Rather than reiterate those issues in detail, I will here summarize each subplot and then briefly summarize its issues, only going into detail for new ideas or issues that haven’t previously been covered.
Before we get into that, though, a bit of genuine praise is in order.
Evans does a very good job of weaving the subplots of this story together. Often when I see stories with multiple subplots, they will be easy to delineate, often being isolated to specific POV characters or delegated to chapters that don’t interact with any other subplots. Notorious Sorcerer instead has seven subplots that share space in a very organic manner. Scenes often drive multiple subplots forward at the same time, and events in one subplot bleed into others. It’s hard to identify them as separate subplots unless you sit down and actively attempt to split theme apart. If you’re looking for a complex narrative with many moving parts that coexist in a natural way, you could do worse than Notorious Sorcerer.
A Plot: Restoring the Alignment of the Planes
This subplot is the closest the book has to a main plot. It serves as its skeleton, extending from the opening chapter to the climax of the book. It is also the reason that the whole book fell apart. Here is where the soft magic system has the most direct influence upon the events and the stakes. The result was a story that started out engaging but became increasingly contrived.
Summary
The subplot opens with Siyon enlisted Zagiri’s help for a delve into the Empyreal plane to harvest ingredients. His near-death experience with an angel provides him with angelfire, which he then takes to the Summer Club to sell to Nihath. During this scene, he overhears several alchemists arguing about the alignment of the planes.
Later that same day, Siyon’s instinctive and miraculous act of magic saves Zagiri’s life and brings him to the attention of the Summer Club. The Club offers him a chance to apply for membership. This visit allows him to sell a phoenix feather to Danelani, facilitating Danelani’s jaunt to the Abyss, and brings him to Izmirlian’s attention.
From this point onward, the issue of the planes being out of alignment fades into the background, being brought up only whenever someone nearly triggers another Sundering or brief moments touching upon the concept of Power of the Mundane. Nihath tries and fails to make himself the Power. Later, when Siyon rescues Danelani from the Abyss, he learns from the Demon Queen that the Powers of the other planes see the lack of a Power of the Mundane as a threat to their planes. The entities of the other planes plan to invade the Mundane to enforce balance in that manner. Siyon then throws himself into becoming the Power, eventually succeeding in the climax.
Analysis
This subplot works in concept. The only real complaint in terms of the progression of events is that the threat of invasion from the other planes is a jarring tonal shift that really comes out of nowhere. Imagine if a drama film about climate change abruptly turned into an alien invasion story at the end. Outside of that, though, Evans did take time to lay groundwork for the idea of the Power of the Mundane. It is woven gradually into the narrative.
Unfortunately, because the soft magic system is abused to drive this plot forward, it is utterly hollow. The turns that the plot takes grow increasingly artificial. When Siyon fails his first attempt to become the Power, I was not shocked or distressed; I simply realized that he had to fail. He couldn’t have succeeded when there were still 60 pages left.
B Plot: Danelani’s Disappearance
This is the main driver of stakes within the story. It is what turns the inquisitors from a background threat into an actively antagonistic force.
Summary
After Danelani purchases the phoenix feather from Siyon, he immediately uses it to jaunt into the Abyss. The prefect, enraged by her son’s disappearance under such obviously magical circumstances, unleashes the inquisitors. This purge forces Siyon and other alchemists to seek shelter or escape from the city and serves as a source of tension whenever Siyon leaves Nihath and Anahid’s house. Eventually, the threat they pose forces Siyon to rescue Danelani from the Abyss. This temporarily dispels the threat. However, when Danelani sickens, Siyon must delve back into the Abyss to retrieve the harpy that Danelani is in love with.
Analysis
Much like the A plot, the problems with this story are really issues with the worldbuilding. We went over how Danelani’s whole situation makes very little sense in light of how portals are shown to work. The only other issue is that Danelani sickening at the end is, like the planar invasion, another last-minute twist without any build-up. The subplot is perfectly functional outside of these issues. It’s bare-bones and utilitarian, yet it also doesn’t pretend to be anything deeper than an excuse for tension.
C Plot: Izmirlian’s Commission (Yaoi Erotica Subplot)
Beneath the suffocating layers of sexual tension, there is indeed a subplot here.
Summary
After Siyon saves Zagiri, Izmirlian sees the opportunity to finally go beyond the planes. Siyon accepts his commission. What follows are several scenes of Siyon learning the necessary alchemist principles, experimenting, and harvesting the necessary bodily fluids to achieve his goals. However, with each fluid that is symbolically neutralized, Izmirlian loses aspects of himself, rendered to a comatose state after the semen is canceled out. Siyon destroys his progress in attempt to bring Izmirlian back. Later, when Siyon ascends to be the Power of the Mundane, Izmirlian is killed. Siyon uses his new position to extort the other Powers into saving Izmirlian. They resurrect Izmirlian together and send him beyond the planes.
Analysis
This subplot is tricky to analyze. It all depends on the angle one comes at it from.
Narratively, it’s not bad. It’s nothing groundbreaking, and I probably would already have forgotten what happened if this book hadn’t triggered such a powerful negative reaction from me, yet it does work. Evans put in effort here. The magic system is at its hardest, and events flow through a logical progression of cause and effect. The bit about Izmirlian sickening at the end does feel a bit tacked on – before, all he lost with his voice and his ability to cry, so a deathlike state seems like it should have come after whatever his Mundane connection was supposed to be – but it isn’t completely out of left field.
As erotica … well, you’re here for my take on the objective quality of writing. I have nothing to offer in that respect except to say that this book does a bad job at pretending that it is not softcore pornography. This is most obvious in the buildup to the sex scene, which reads like a teen anime fangirl’s amateur efforts to smash together two shounen protagonists, but the absurd levels of sexual tension throughout the entire book also betray its purpose. It is incredibly distracting. No effort is made by Evans to mask her intentions.
I’ve seen a few tweets by people who have read the book, gushing about it as though it were a tragic romance. I heartily disagree. This is terrible as a romance. There is no emotional growth or connection here. It is just overpowerful levels of sexual energy. The fact that Evans have Siyon and Izmirlian say that they love each other at the end, acting as though this is True Love that transcends death, is mildly insulting. I’ve watched a lot of romance films over the years. Even the shallowest, involving Love At First Sight and total strangers declaring their devotion to one another after a few hours, did a better job of selling their emotions than this story of two people who knew each other for several days (possibly multiple weeks). These two talk like they will wait for one another forever, but I’m not convinced that they won’t just find new sexual partners in a couple of weeks (or, in the case of Siyon, in the next book).
D Plot: Zagiri Defends the Downtrodden
Zagiri is dismayed by the fact that “the poor, the unsheltered, the foreign” are taking the brunt of the inquisitors’ purge. That’s Bad. When an alchemist approaches her on the street, begging for her help, she organizes the bravi tribes to help all lower-class alchemists to escape Bezim. That’s Good. At the end of the book, she expresses a willingness to accept her role as a member of the noble class, opening to help the downtrodden through politics. That’s Growth.
That’s pretty much it. Outside of the superficial ideas being floated (which we’ll get into in Themes), there isn’t much substance to this story. I don’t think it makes the story objectively worse, but it could be cut without losing anything. Maybe this would have worked better if it was a whole novel in and of itself, with plenty of time to flesh out character motivations and explore the nuances of the themes at play.
E Plot: Anahid Becoming a Gambling Addict
Anahid feels stifled by her social position and marriage. She finds relief when a friend introduces her to carrick. The game consumes her, to the point that she helps Siyon save Danelani because she feels like the inquisitors’ purge might threaten her ability to play the game in the Flowers district. She then extorts the friend who introduced her to the game, using a secret she learned from another player, to help Siyon.
I’ve already criticized this subplot in Anahid’s character analysis. My only new addition here is that Anahid extorting her friend is treated like a huge sacrifice. Not nearly enough time was given to this subplot for me to feel any emotional weight to this. Again, maybe if this were its own book, it could have worked.
F Plot: Siyon’s Mysterious Past
Throughout the book, we get references into Siyon’s past as a member of a fishing family in the Scarp and how he fled to the upper city after nearly drowning. We also get the mysterious connection that he feels to Tehroun. He has to descend the Scarp with Daruj to collect ingredients for the ritual to become the Power of the Mundane; when he does, he is confronted by his brother and threatened with death if he ever returns. Siyon then tells Daruj about how his brother tried to drown him in a net. This is when he has the revelation that Tehroun was the one who saved him.
This is another subplot that was botched due to lack of focus. Siyon’s backstory and connection to Tehroun contributes nothing to the story. The condensed delivery of information robs it of any emotion.
G Plot: Finding Auntie Geryss
Auntie Geryss goes missing early in the purge, after she makes a failed attempt to rescue Danelani. Siyon risks arrest to go searching for her, aided by Izmirlian. Geryss later resurfaces during Nihath’s attempt to become Power of the Mundane, only to get arrested while Siyon escapes.
I mention this as a subplot because a significant chunk of this story’s events are driven by Siyon worrying about Geryss. This was an excuse to put him in situations where he’d be in the inquisitors’ crosshairs. It works fine for what it is.
A Matter of Length
I can’t help but feel like the last eighty pages of this book were a last-minute addition. The planar invasion, Danelani getting sick again, and Izmirlian being rendered comatose all feel like attempts to stretch out stories that should have ended. By the time we reach the sex scene, the B and C plots are effectively over, and all that’s left for A plot is Siyon’s final ascension to the power of the Mundane.
My best guess is this: Evans intended for the story to end with Siyon and Izmirlian having sex, with Siyon becoming the Power of the Mundane as an afterthought. Someone (either a beta-reader, or agent, or an editor) then told her that the story couldn’t just end there. Not having anything after this point, she made up reasons for the A and B plots to keep going and then copied the B plot onto the C plot. (Then again, maybe Evans decided to fully commit to the pattern of superficiality by completely giving up on the quality of her planned story once she got her sex scene.)
Lessons Learned
The problems with a plot sometimes have very little to do with the plot itself. Sometimes you can do everything right with a story and still have it be undermining by mistakes in worldbuilding or characterization. Other times, the issue is that not enough time was taken for the audience to fully connect with and understand events. Evans may not have written plots that redefine the genre, but it’s not like any of these concepts are fundamentally broken. Most of the missteps could be corrected by fixing different problems.
THEMES
Evans tried to inject messages into her work. There were concepts that she wanted to explore, or at least include. The issue here (aside from worldbuilding and character work) is that she either doesn’t go far enough for a meaningful exploration or else slaps in an idea without anything new to say about it.
Alchemy versus Sorcery
A running through line in this story is the balance between alchemy (empiricism, reason, and the scientific method) and sorcery (mysticism, emotion, connections, and abstract ideas). Bezim (or, at least, the Summer Club) prides itself on the triumph of alchemy; Auntie Geryss, as a foreigner, pushes for a return to the ways of sorcery. Siyon has to learn more about alchemy and embrace Geryss’s perspective in order to triumph in the A plot.
This theme is mixed. Groundwork was certainly laid for it. It is woven into background details, the erotica, and Siyon’s observations about different things he observed. What it lacks is a clear conclusion. Is this story telling us to balance the rational and the mystical, or is it telling us to throw reason out the window and just operate on instinct and emotion? Siyon’s success in the climax points to the latter interpretation, but a lot of the buildup to that success is rooted in Siyon solving problems via established alchemical precedents.
Perhaps this is a theme that will make more sense as the series progresses. More context might bring a clearly understanding of the situation.
The Power of the Abstract / Symbolism
This theme is baked into the magic system. All ingredients used in alchemy have power in what they presented. Mundane items like rope, rigs, and ox manure all have magical power. Harnessing the right combinations of that power enables magical effects.
I think this is a good example of thematic worldbuilding. It is an idea that is an integral part of the world. When characters reference it, they aren’t breaking immersion to discuss a real-world idea; they are discussing how the fabric of their reality is woven together.
The Poor and Foreigner are Victims & the Rich are Protected
Unequal treatment is Bad. Helping the downtrodden in Good. Nothing more needs to be said.
Sarcasm aside, this idea was presented in incredibly shallow terms. Evans didn’t have anything meaningful to contribute here. No effort is given to explore why this phenomenon occurs; no solutions are proposed; no challenge is made to the fact that Zagiri is actively benefitting from this system as she rages against it. This was basic moralizing to justify giving Zagiri a subplot.
If I was to be very charitable, perhaps Evans meant this as sociopolitical commentary. The ways she presents these ideas reads like something an activist without any dialogue training might chant or scrawl on a sign. I don’t know what Australia’s situation is in terms of poverty and immigration, but I know enough about US and British politics to recognize left-wing talking points.
A cursory glance at Evans’s Twitter didn’t give me anything to confirm or refute this interpretation. Even if this is the case, the lack of nuance or exploration is still a problem. Evans cared more about saying a problem exists than exploring why it does or how to fix it.
The Power of the People
Bezim – the city literally named “ours” – is defined by the independence of its people. A big deal is made about the common culture and how the people come together is a crisis. In order to align the planes, Siyon must harvest ingredients from across the whole city, symbolically capturing the essence of Bezim’s people.
At the same time, the nobles and the inquisitors are treated as separate from the people when a point needs to be made about how the “the poor, the unsheltered, the foreign” are oppressed.
Notorious Sorcerer doesn’t explore this dichotomy. It simply flips back and forth as the story demands. This idea of unity feels like another slogan by an untrained activist who hasn’t taken the time to get the story straight and erase any contradictions from their language. This time, though, I don’t think Evans intended there to be any sociopolitical commentary. I think she wanted this idea to exist for the climax of the A plot and failed to consider if the D plot would contradict it.
Contraceptive Access Must be Protected
This isn’t so much a theme so much as an transparent bit of sociopolitical commentary that Evans injected to the story despite it not having any relevance. Remember how, during Zagiri’s subplot, an alchemist approaches her to ask for help? This alchemist is a contraceptives vendor.
Normally, this wouldn’t be worth analyzing. Alchemists in Bezim ply all manner of trades; I think it would be more shocking if contraceptives weren’t on the list of products made via alchemy. However, Evans really wants the audience to associate this specific vendor with “the poor, the unsheltered, the foreign”. This is the scene she hammers on the idea that how the inquisitors are handling their purge Is Bad. It’s where Zagiri decides to help because That’s Good. Couple this heavy-handedness with Evans’s openness about this book being an “exercise in self-indulgence”, I’m inclined to think that this was meant to be some sort of lesson for the audience. Evans wanted to take a righteous stand about contraceptives, and she really wanted us to associate them with the downtrodden of society. She didn’t let the facts that it contributed nothing to the narrative or that she didn’t have anything meaningful to say on the subject stop her.
Modern fantasy and science fiction writers have a bad habit of injecting superficial messaging about contemporary issues and ideological disagreements into their works. I’m seen similar quality of commentary from Saba Tahir (author of the Ember Quartet), Karen Traviss (when she isn’t writing for Star Wars), JK Rowling (specifically, in her Fantastic Beasts scripts), and Christopher Paolini (specifically in the Inheritance Cycle, as I haven’t read his sci-fi work), though they are far from the only ones or even the worst offenders. The messaging itself isn’t problematic in terms of objective quality of art. The issue is that it doesn’t run any deeper than the contents of the average Twitter post, and effort is rarely taken to blend the message into the narrative. All it manages to do is break the audience’s immersion by forcing them to turn their attention to things outside of the story.
What’s funny in this case is that the message is contradicted by other aspects of the setting. The text explicitly acknowledges, in this same scene, that a contraceptives vendor is someone that the rich and powerful would protect. The vendor is initially told that the crime barons will shelter him. His only response is that he doesn’t “like” their terms. No details beyond that are given. Evans knew that this commentary didn’t fit, but she didn’t care enough to put any effort into solving the contradiction, so she tried to hand-wave away the lore of her own setting with as little effort as possible.
Lessons Learned
Themes are messy, complex things. They rely as much on audience experience as the author’s own handiwork. An author can have a message that they want to share, but if they don’t provide adequate details or depth to help the audience understand their perspective and to integrate those ideas into the story in an organic way, those ideas will fall on deaf ears at best or annoy the audience at worst.
CONCLUSION
So, here we are, at the end of the road. I wasn’t expecting this review to grow by an extra 3,000 words on the rewrite. New problems and ways of explaining them caught my eye as I was working through things. Thank you all for going on another long journey with me.
Notorious Sorcerer had massive potential. None of its ideas are objectively bad as elements of a story. It doesn’t suffer from structural issues or characters so unsympathetic that the audience can’t connect with their stories. What it does have is superficiality. The minimum level of attention to detail needed to understand the plot is enough to tear massive holes through many of the things that were so alluring at first glance.
Ms. Evans, if you read this review to the end, I want you to know that I believe you have genuine potential to be one of the greatest fantasy writers of our era. You have the skills; you have the passion. What limits you is your brazen lack of discipline. That is what ultimately destroyed this book. It may be too late to save the second one in the series, judging by your recent tweet about sending the work to your editor, but perhaps the third can be made into something great. All you need to do is spread the love that you gave to your self-indulgences throughout the rest of the text.
A PINCH OF STARDUST
The next book we will review is The Stardust Thief, by Chelsea Abdullah. It is a book I picked up based on Twitter marketing (I guess that author platform stuff really does work). There’s a lot of good to talk about with this book, along with a few problems that, while not devastating, are nuanced enough to be worth delving deep into. My hope is to have the review up some time in April.
Thank you all again for sticking with me. I’ll see you all again soon.
