Iron Flame (Final Retrospective)
It has taken 6 months (not counting the 5 weeks spent reviewing better books) to sift through the corrupted debris that is Iron Flame.
I honestly had no intentions of this being such a massive project. That was part of the reason that I said I wasn’t going to rehash problems we’d already covered. However, once I actually began to sift through all of my notes, I finally began to understand just how horrible this book truly is. It is an ouroboros of incompetent, lazy, and generally terrible writing. Barely a chapter goes by without this book taking a bite out of itself or Fourth Wing, and this cycle of self-consumption never ceases.
My most sincere thanks to all of you who stuck with me throughout this series. I hope that you derived some educational values from this comprehensive analysis (or, at the very least, amusement from my deteriorating mental state). Now, let’s wrap things up, and then we can take a nice, long holiday with better books - at least until Onyx Storm darkens our horizon.
STATS
Title: Iron Flame
Series: The Empyrean (Book 2)
Author(s): Rebecca Yarros
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
First Printing: November 2023
Publisher: Red Tower Books
Rating: 1/10
SPOILER WARNING
Heavy spoilers will be provided for the entire story up through the end of the book.
STRUCTURE
I would like to start this last part on as much a positive note as I can. You all have put up with my negativity for a while. We shall therefore be structuring this retrospective as follows.
Discussion of Onyx Storm, the next book in the series
A discussion of Rebecca Yarros
Final thoughts on Iron Flame, which will cover the whole book with emphasis upon the elements from Part Two
Following up on what we did in the Intermission, we will explore options for how Yarros could have accomplished the same story goals while correcting the major issues of Part Two, evaluating three scenarios:
Part Two as the follow-up to the revised Part One from the Intermission
Part Two as its own standalone book (again, a sequel to the standalone Part One book from the Intermission)
A complete overhaul of Iron Flame as a whole
ONYX STORM
I have already preordered the e-book for Onyx Storm. The book itself is due on January 21st. I will, of course, be doing a review series for it, but exactly how long that review series is (and even the nature of said review series) will depend on the product that Yarros puts out.
Premise
As of September 11th, 2024 (the day that I finalized this retrospective), no information about the story of Onyx Storm has been posted to either the Barnes & Noble page or Rebecca Yarros’s website. When story information does become available, I will do a separate post to discuss this premise and any issues (or opportunities) it creates when compared to the series thus far.
For now, we only have the following listed in the “Notes From Your Bookseller” section on the Barnes & Noble page.
The shocking ending to Iron Flame left us with a dizzying need for the third installment of Yarros’ phenomenal series. With love gained and lost, battles waged and won — Onyx Storm is another razor-sharp ride on dragon back.
There’s also additional text to try and sell the special edition of the book with sprayed edges, which I’m not going to get into. I’d like to leave the discussion of the presentation of the physical copies to the people who are actually buying the physical copies. What I see in the online pictures looks nice, but the same could be said about The Rings of Power or of the average Marvel or Star Wars show on Disney+. Throwing lots of money at the visual presentation of a story is fine when the writing it good, but it is not a substitute for good writing.
Initial Thoughts
I hope Onyx Storm is good. I sincerely do.
Yarros has gone on record about how she overloaded herself by writing Fourth Wing, In the Likely Event, and Iron Flame back to back, further stating that the delayed release of Onyx Storm is to give her more breathing room. This overloaded schedule likely had some influence on the poor quality of the writing in The Empyrean thus far.
To be clear, Yarros deserves zero slack for this. She is a mature adult and established writer. She should have been aware of her own limits before she committed to pumping out more than 1700 pages worth of novels to release within less than 6 months of each other. Any negative impact that this schedule had on The Empyrean is her own fault. However, by giving herself more time, it opens up the possibility that she will properly plan things out, or at the very least do proper edits, rewrites, and whole redrafts to produce a cohesive narrative. The mere fact that she is learning from her scheduling mistake also opens up the possibility that she can learn how to better write for the Fantasy genre.
Am I optimistic about this happening? No. Optimism may include hope, but hope does not necessitate optimism. I simply have the desire that the next book will be a good one, and if there’s any variable that Yarros has changed in her life that could enhance her writing, I don’t want to outright dismiss the possibility that this desire will be met. If she could just stop writing in a manner that makes her story actively eat itself, she could easily boost Onyx Storm up to at least a 4/10.
The Review
The nature of the Onyx Storm review will depend heavily on just what kind of book Yarros releases.
If it is a self-devouring mess that is just as terrible as the first two books, we will be doing another book club-style deep dive.
If, by some miracle, Yarros manages to put out something good - I’m talking a 6/10 or higher - then I will also be doing a book club-style deep dive. However, my goal with this deep dive will not be to discuss bad writing (though I’m sure there will be something for us to chew on there). Instead, the goal will be the highlight how Yarros improved, making comparisons to the previous books where possible.
If Yarros puts out something that’s more of a 4/10, I am leaning towards doing a breakdown series in the vein of Shadow of the Conqueror, Notorious Sorcerer, and The City of Brass, looking at the whole book at once and breaking it down into its different aspects. (That said, if people want another book club-style deep dive, I’ll be happy to oblige. Just don’t be surprised if we cover the whole book in less then 10 weeks.)
REBECCA YARROS
Separating Art from the Artist
Over the last six months, I have made several inferences about Yarros’s writing decisions, particularly in regards to elements of her real life that she may have been copying into her work. These have included comments that could be interpreted as criticisms of her parenting style, her marriage, her general interactions with other human beings, and her true feelings about non-heterosexual people. I have also used no shortage of obscenities in her general direction.
While no one has complained about this (that I’m aware of, at least), I do want to emphasize this point again: I do not know Yarros personally. I don’t know if my conclusions are correct. It’s entirely possible that all of my conclusions are wrong.
Perhaps Yarros is indeed a lovely and intelligent person. The woman founded and runs a charitable foundation for foster children, and while history is full of people who form charities to serve their own ambition, image, or greed, it is also full of people who genuinely want to do good in the world. I’m certainly not going to run to the other extreme and say that Yarros is the second coming of Mother Teresa, but given that Mother Teresa herself is proof that sainthood does not mean you are easy to deal with, I’m willing to shrug my shoulders, say, “People are complicated,” and give Yarros the benefit of the doubt in terms of who she is in real life.
What I criticize with my comments about Yarros is the image that Yarros herself chooses to provide with us - something she does deliberately whenever she virtue signals and accidentally with her writing choices. Much like with Fonda Lee, this image may not reflect who she truly is.
Besides, even if I am 100% correct in all of my conclusions - that Dain and Cat are people Yarros hates and fantasizes about hurting and/or using at her convenience, that she did indeed go through a self-imposed dry spell, etc. - so what? The Empyrean is so poorly written that it’s not reasonable to judge Yarros’s true self on the basis of her efforts to copy-paste her life into the book. As we covered back in Fourth Wing, her self-insert Mary Sue would come across a lot more sympathetically in a more realistic setting, or at least, a setting that is not so fundamentally at odds with the characterization Yarros is going for. Besides, Yarros seems so intent on pushing a specific interpretation of characters and conflicts that she might easily be taking for granted that we would see things her way. She might be omitting key details that could put Violet squarely in the right, or at the very least, make her position understandable.
I will happily continue to criticize Yarros’s self-insert Mary Sue and all the ways that Yarros’s real life is being crowbarred into The Empyrean. It’s just that this should not be confused with criticism of Yarros herself.
True Colors
I will, however, criticize Yarros herself for how she treats her audience.
At multiple points in this review, I have accused Yarros of gaslighting and lying to her audience. I stand by these accusations. Yarros’s efforts to explain and justify her twists and arbitrary plot developments go beyond merely being poor writing and into the realm of overt dishonesty.
This is most evident in the reveal that Jack is a venin. The twist is bad. It opens up multiple plot holes. At best, highly unlikely that Yarros intended for Jack to be a venin when she wrote Fourth Wing. However, there were ways to justify that twist that worked off of established information. Yarros chose to ignore this established information and instead retcon three new justifications: an outright lie, a pretense of foreshadowing that cannot be true without breaking Fourth Wing, and an act of parasitism upon a previously established story element. I am not a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, or any other manner of mental health professional, yet as I reread Yarros’s attempt to justify the Jack twist, I couldn’t shake the impression that Yarros feels compelled to lie. She went out of her way to be dishonest.
Other twists and reveals share this unnecessary dishonesty. Yarros will assert one thing as the absolute truth, even when doing so flies in the face of common sense, and then backpedal or change direction without admitting to what she did.
Yarros gave two different explanations for Xaden not killing Violet, then tried to treat it as a mystery to justify the inntinnsic twist.
Violet’s translations are flawless, and then suddenly she discovers new meanings, and any blame for her mistake is taken away by the author of the journal she was translating being a liar (which itself makes no sense).
Melgren has no idea where the defecting riders are until he needs to send them a message.
Melgren is telling the truth about the wards falling, then he is lying so that the Aretia rebels don’t look monstrous, but then he is telling the truth so that Violet can rush in to save the day.
The rider leadership has no idea that Xaden and his cohort are stealing weapons whilst simultaneously knowing that weapons are being stolen and that it could only be explained by Xaden and his cohort committing the thefts.
This is before we even talk about Violet being a self-insert Mary Sue. Yarros goes out of her way to set up opportunities for Violet to grow as a character, only to twist at the last moment so that Violet herself is never held accountable and never needs to change.
Violet and her squad mistreat the infantry in the RSC land navigation exercise, but that is an inherent flaw within rider culture, not a flaw with Violet herself.
Violet jumps to a wild and irrational conclusion about Xaden being injured, but she was blinded by love, and it turns out that she was right anyway.
Violet is jealous and insecure, but it was actually Cat’s fault.
Violet goes out of her way to find reasons to mistrust Xaden, and those reasons manifest for her.
Violet cannot control a power that is fueled by her emotions, yet the solution is to give her a physical object to control her abilities, and her lack of control is blamed on another character (despite this going against the established characterization of that other character).
As noted above, Violet botched a translation, but it was ultimately the fault of whomever wrote down a lie in the journal she was translating.
I could write off one of these as bad writing, but this many takes deliberate effort. At best, Yarros is so desperate for us to see her self-insert Mary Sue as sinless that she is running interference at every turn. At worst, she is trying to trick us into thinking her self-insert Mary Sue is undergoing meaningful growth without accepting any accountability for said self-insert Mary Sue’s faults.
To top all of this off, so many of Yarros’s lies fall apart under casual inspection. You can see through them by remembering what happened in Fourth Wing or a previous chapter. For Yarros to think that these lies will hold up, she either expects that her audience lacks basic intellect or else is overconfident in her ability to deceive others. It’s malice no matter how one slices is.
I am happy to separate art from the artist. Not every objectionable thing in a book can be traced to some flaw in its creator. The thing is, art is a form of communication. Regardless of the actual art itself, the manner in which the artists communicates to the audience is an action by which we can understand the real person behind the art.
When a massive film studio puts out a film that induces epileptic seizures due to flashing lights, yet fails to notify the audience of the danger, that is seen as a deeply irresponsible act by the studio. The film studio is choosing to disregard the physical well-being of its customers in a manner that ensures that it already has the customers’ money before they realize the danger.
So when an author is blatantly lies to and gaslights her own audience, using deceptions that heavily rely on the audience not using their brains, and has the gall to have her self-insert Mary Sue accuse someone of being a, “Fucking. Liar,” and analyze the gaslighting of others, I have no qualms about judging that author as a, “Fucking. Liar,” and accuse her of gaslighting in return. Yarros reaps that which she sows.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON IRON FLAME
Genre
Barnes & Noble designates this book as an Epic Fantasy and a Romance. Rebecca Yarros’s website designates it as a Fantasy Romance and a Romance.
It is horrific as a Fantasy and even worse as a Romance.
Fantasy
A well-crafted Fantasy narrative is not a story in which superficial elements like dragons and magic are slapped into the text. It is one where fantastical ideas are fully integrated into the story, making them feel like a natural and meaningful inclusion. These elements don’t necessarily need to be the focus, but care does need to be taken to think through how the changes being made from our own world would synergize with the elements being left the same as our own world. Even if a Fantasy is set within a secondary world, and the only commonality with our own world is that the characters are humans (or near-humans), basic cause and effect and considerations for human biology and psychology are the bare minimum for a Fantasy to work.
Yarros fails at this. Time and again, she rams in new fantastical elements for no regard for how they contradict previous conclusions or radially redefine her plot or world. This is Fantasy at its laziest and most shallow, where we are expected to squee over the inclusion of dragons and not engage our brains.
Romance
How is an established Romance author this terrible at writing coherent conflicts for an established couple? How does she not realize how unhinged Violet sounds with all of the entitled, paranoid, self-serving, and generally abusive behavior? How is she this bad at writing a Jealousy conflict?
I genuinely have no idea how Yarros ever became successful as a Romance author if this is how she writes her female leads. Is her entire career founded upon validation power fantasies where the protagonist is always right and the love interests put up zero resistance to their nonsense?
It’s not even like the conflicts she’s introducing into this romance are that complex. This is basic stuff that Hallmark movies handle all the time. Identifying and fixing these problems should not have been difficult after publishing multiple romance novels:
Violet has trust issues? Okay, but that’s not enough to override the circumstances of those trust issues, circumstances that someone of Violet’s background should understand and respect (especially if she is going to acknowledge those circumstances and then spin herself as a “rational woman”). Would it have been so hard to give Violet a backstory wherein she became untrusting and paranoid because of an abusive ex and is now unable to cope with Xaden keeping a secret from her, however necessary that secret may have been?
Violet is jealous of Xaden’s ex? Okay, but Cat needs to pose a genuine threat for this sort of thing to work. Alternatively, if this is going to be written off as Violet being insecure, she actually needs to grow as a person and overcome that insecurity. She can’t just be let off the hook with a random pornography scene and some magical protection.
The Power Fantasy
Fourth Wing was not inhibited by its nature as the power fantasy. For all the physical power handed to Violet, the power fantasy itself focused upon emotional and moral validation. The main conflict was mostly unscathed.
Iron Flame, though . . . yikes.
Much of the horrific character writing in this book can be traced back to the power fantasy. Yarros is so committed to having Violet always be flawless, always triumph, and always be validated that she sabotaged every single opportunity for Violet to grow and develop. On top of that, I suspect that this is the root of why the Romance subplot tanked. Violet could never be wrong or grow as a person, so all conflicts needed to be one-sided and resolve themselves at her convenience.
What makes matters worse is that Yarros goes out of her way to set up scenarios for growth. If Violet and her squad didn’t go on a land navigation exercise with infantry, if a big deal wasn’t made out of her inability to aim with her lightning, if Yarros didn’t squander the Romance subplot on the Trust and Jealousy conflicts, and if Violet hadn’t been so self-assured of her translation skills (to name but a few examples), Yarros could have had Violet be flawless without calling attention to that fact. Violet is a self-insert Mary Sue, but there are ways to write a story such that this fact doesn't damage the integrity of the narrative. Yarros’s decision to force Violet into these scenarios and then extract her without admitting to Violet’s flaws inflicts damage that simply didn’t have to happen.
Plot
Cause & Effect
Back in the Prelude, I noted that Iron Flame succeeds in cause and effect where Fourth Wing fails. While I do stand by the spirit of that assessment, I was wrong to be so absolute in the facts. I had forgotten just how often Yarros uses arbitrary developments and nonsensical plot twists to force changes in the story’s trajectory. Yes, each event flows logically from what came before, but it often does so after unnecessary detours, or to divert around an element that comes out of nowhere, like how Violet only avoids being caught with the venin-killing dagger because Rhiannon’s powers abruptly level up.
Pacing
Speaking of detours, the pacing of this book is a nightmare, and this has mostly to do with unnecessary detours. There are so many plot threads that go nowhere and could be cut outright. Whole chapters just waste time; other threads are brought up as conflicts and resolved so easily as to be pointless. To just name a few examples from Part Two:
After building up Teclis as this sinister foe whom will only release the luminary if Violet makes a great sacrifice, he meekly hands it over after Violet fails to do the one task he set for her.
Violet inability to aim is brought up but is always conveniently negated when it should matter, without any effort on her part.
The two chapters spent climbing the Cliffs of Dralor have no impact on the rest of the story, and the climb itself didn’t even need to happen.
Violet withholds the information about being able to raise wards around Aretia because she would be asking her friends to make a sacrifice, only to have a tool on hand that negates the impact of that sacrifice.
The Worst Twist
The reveal that Andarna is a rainbow dragon was the moment that I ran out of excuses for this book and dropped its rating to a 1/10.
All of the other twists in this book, save for Jack being a venin, like they were included to either force a change in the trajectory of the plot or because Yarros wanted to ramp up tension with a shocking reveal. This twist, by contrast, feels like it was only included to justify Andarna’s continued presence. The plot, which is already in bad shape, is being contorted so that Yarros can demonstrate the sunk-cost fallacy to us, desperately trying to find relevance for a character who simply has none.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad if Andarna were an actual character who got considerable focus, but she’s not a character, and she doesn’t get focus. Every other twist in this book at least tries to anchor itself to a character. This works with Jack being a venin and Xaden being an inntinnsic (and, later, a venin as well). These twists connect to established traits of the associated characters. As for General Sorrengail’s sacrifice, it requires the assassination of both her and Violet’s intelligence and pivots on her having a maternal side that simply hasn’t been demonstrated, but at least General Sorrengail is a character with agency. That gives her sacrifice some weight.
The rainbow dragon twist, however, is tied into the characterizations of the a small number of dragons - and the dragons are not characters.
Why did the elders of the Empyrean keep Andarna’s nature a secret from other dragons? Why did they endanger her by allowing her to become a bonded dragon, when that clearly wasn’t necessary with the previous rainbow dragon? Why were riders not told that a messiah was coming, meaning that the calamity the messiah was meant to save them from was also rapidly approaching? Why did Tairn not realize that Andarna was exhibiting traits atypical of a true black dragon?
The twist leans on the answers of these questions, but because the dragons are not characters (and the dragons responsible for the decision either never appear in the story or have no lines of dialogue), all we have to work with is numbing haze. Yarros could say literally anything was the decision of the dragons, and it would make just as much (or, if you prefer, as little) sense. We have nothing to work with to explain moments of irrationality; we simply have to look at the hand of the author interfering in the plot and accept this to still be the natural course of events.
Action
I think the action in this book is far better than in Fourth Wing. There’s still a lot of contrivance of various sorts, and there’s no shortage of meaningless spectacle, yet on the whole, I felt my suspension of disbelief was only being stretched, not actively insulted. I still doubt that this was deliberate. Yarros just neglected to emphasize things that would cause problems (like how she doesn't make a big deal about the physical discrepancy between men and women in melee combat). Nevertheless, this is s step in the right direction.
Character
Cast Bloat
The cast of Iron Flame is more bloated that your typical shounen battle manga / anime - but at least shounen battle stories are in a visual medium. I can’t remember the names of Naruto’s peers or Deku’s classmates, but at a glance, I could give fairly close guesses as to their powers and personalities, despite having not read either of those mangas since the start of the COVID pandemic. I’ve read Iron Flame twice in the past year, the second time being the close analysis needed for this review series, and couldn’t tell you who most of the names dropped in this story belong to.
Written for Utility
The characters who are more than a name and a few details of their appearance have the bare minimum of characterization to fulfill whatever role Yarros requires of them.
Violet’s accessories exist only to validate her, with interchangeable and hollow dialogue that makes me seriously question if Yarros has ever been part of a friend group.
Sloane and Aaric briefly had more life to them, but they too dissolve into a state similar to the accessories when their plot relevance is exhausted.
Dain and Cat have more personality, but that’s only so Violet can triumph over them on a regular basis.
The antagonists are one-note and have their competence levels fluctuate to whatever Yarros needs for the plot.
The dragons aren’t characters at all. The dialogue that Tairn, Andarna, and Sgaeyl get is the kind of thing a pet owner maps onto a dog or cat so that they can have a “conversation” with said pet. Violet and Xaden are certainly speaking to their dragons, but the responses of those dragons always feel like something Violet would make up to make sense of animalistic vocalizations and body language.
Xaden
The Bad Boy Love Interest really should have gotten more depth in this book. Unfortunately, the only meaningful change from the previous book is that, because he is now in a relationship with Violet, he is now saying loving things to her. He’s still a cardboard cutout being used by the (power) fantasy. I’m not against that in principle. It’s just that, when plot twists and arbitrary developments hinge on Xaden making decisions, we need exploration of his identity. Iron Flame failed to provide that exploration.
Violet
I’ve run this abominable protagonist into the ground, so I’ll just briefly reiterate what I said in the Intermission.
Violet’s characterization could have salvaged this book. If Yarros was just willing to admit that Violet was flawed, to let Violet undergo genuine growth, so much about this book would be improved. It wouldn’t save the plot or worldbuilding, but it would be easier to get invested in Violet herself if the narrative acknowledged that all of the horrific things she does are not meant to be seen as morally justified decisions.
Worldbuilding
I think I can best sum up my thoughts on the worldbuilding of Iron Flame by summing up my reaction to a statement that Yarros made to TODAY.com on July 8th.
"It's amazing to be back with these characters again. After three books, we're on an incredible journey together and I've loved expanding the world around them as they discover more about it. I can't wait for readers to see what Violet, Xaden, and the rest of the quadrant have in store for them in Onyx Storm!"
Yarros should stop expanding this world. Almost every new element that she introduces damages the integrity of what she has established before. Frankly, I feel like the only new worldbuilding in Onyx Storm should be carefully thought-out damage control for what she’s established thus far. There’s still some time to salvage the mess she’s made, but that window of opportunity is swiftly closing, and it closes ever-faster with each poorly-considered element she adds.
I’m further discouraged by a comment she made on her Instagram on March 28th (also covered by TODAY.com, because I don’t want to follow her on Instagram).
“There will be politics, new adventures, old enemies, and of course, dragons.”
Yarros can barely write a school or coherent military leadership. I don’t have any faith in her ability to write politics, unless she’s referring to blunt allegories and virtue signals with which to bludgeon her audience over the head.
Theme
We’re talked about various themes throughout this book, but there are two I want to put focus on here: the one Yarros herself advertised, and the theme that manifested when she tried to write the advertised theme.
Advertised Theme
On June 22nd, 2023, Yarros did an interview with TODAY.com. During that interview, she was asking, “What can you reveal about this series as a whole? Can we expect any more books?” To this she said:
The books are fully potted for five books. The whole series is plotted out and arced and all of that. And I think it really deals with the theme of history: Who's allowed to tell our history, and what happens when only people in power are the ones who record our history.
She was then asked, “Who or what was your inspiration when writing?”
So, I love dragons. I don't know anyone who doesn't — us fantasy girlies, right? I grew up reading a ton of fantasy. I knew my publisher was looking for romantasy in that new-adult line — and I love new adult, I think it's such an unexplored genre. There are not a lot of books that deal with people in that period between adolescence and adulthood. I love that sweet spot. So knowing that I could definitely build it on a romance, I was in love with the forced proximity of the romance being between their dragons and not necessarily (the characters). And everybody loves a morally gray hero, so I definitely had to have that one. And because I majored in history in college, it was really, really fun to explore those themes of who would get to write down our history and what would happen, perhaps, if the history we were educated on is not accurate.
Back in the Fourth Wing, this theme about history being inaccurate was functional, but it lacked the necessary narrative support to give it any weight. It’s much the same in Iron Flame.
A lot of time is spent accusing people of lying about historical and present events (including that, “Fucking. Liar,” line that I like to reflect back at Yarros), and we got that cringe-inducing debate in Chapter 21, but the actual idea of history being misrepresented is not explored in any meaningful way. No time is spent on why Navarre edited its history and thinks that concealing the truth is a good idea. It’s also not like uncovering the true history of the world is the focus. Violet spends most of the book engaged in other things. As a result, when she does engage with this theme, it ends up feelings very superficial and immature. It almost comes across as though Violet is more angry at Navarre for not sharing her viewpoint and is hyper-fixated on the edited history because she can’t articulate an argument against them, rather than she genuinely caring about the integrity of history.
That said, I don’t think this theme is actively detrimental to the narrative. At worst, I’d say that it’s an objective that Yarros lost sight of as the narrative progressed.
The Actual Theme
What Iron Flame is really about - or, perhaps, what Yarros ultimately cares about - is power.
This is something I had already noticed and was planning to comment upon, but it really cemented for me when I saw this sentence from the TODAY.com interview.
And I think it really deals with the theme of history: Who's allowed to tell our history, and what happens when only people in power are the ones who record our history.
"Only the people in POWER.”
It’s a small word choice, but it builds upon a trend.
In Chapter 40 did Carr not teach Violet how to do precise lightning strikes and fire lightning from her hands? Because he feared the rider who, in Felix’s words, was, “slated to be the most POWERful rider of [her] year - perhaps [her] entire generation.”
Also in Chapter 40, why did the Aretia rebel leadership not trust Violet (not a major plot point, but Yarros did call attention to it)? In Felix’s words, “They saw what you were. In that way, I suppose you’re just as much a danger to Aretia as you are to Basgiath, aren’t you? POWER isn’t only found in our Signets.”
In Chapter 45, why did Navarre kneecap themselves by erasing knowledge of runes? To use the words of the rune professor, “riders are naturally more POWERful . . . But runes are the great equalizer.”
In Chapter 57, why did Warrick “lie” about how the wards were activated? According to General Sorrengail, “Warrick never wanted anyone else to hold the POWER of the wards.”
This might have made for a consistent follow-through on a theme, except for a small problem: none of these examples make any sense. This doesn’t read like a deliberate pattern. If anything, it reads as though Yarros kept writing herself into corners, with her go-to exit strategy being, “Oh, it’s the Bad Guys’ fault, because POWER.”
Add onto this the nature of Violet as Yarros’s self-insert Mary Sue. She isn’t just “the most POWERful rider of [her] year” - she is having sex with the second most POWERful rider, and their dragons are the most POWERful ones established, with only Melgren’s dragon potentially being stronger. The venin want to recruit the both of them because of their POWER.
Yarros talks big about history in her interviews, but history is merely the prize. The struggle is over the power that allows history to be manipulated. With how Violet and Xaden are characterized, if they were the ones with the power to control the interpretation of history, they would absolutely prioritize revisions to service their views and agendas over unfiltered truth. Violet demonstrated this very clearly with her efforts to blame Dain for Xaden’s actions. If Yarros ever puts them in a position to control the historical narrative of Navarre, I suspect she will change her tune and say how it’s a good thing that the right people are the ones in power now.
I plan on keeping an eye on this in Onyx Storm. Hopefully I’m wrong. If not, this power fantasy has gotten a bit more depressing to read.
Editing
Claims
Yarros claims that she plans out and edits her work.
Here again is her comment from that June 2023 interview with TODAY.com about plotting things out.
The books are fully plotted for five books. The whole series is plotted out and arced and all of that.
During her June 20th appearance on Good Morning America, Yarros had this to say.
"Honestly, editing is my favorite part of the process. I love when the pieces all come together!"
This same article also included the following detail:
In June, Yarros announced that she'd submitted the first draft to her editor.
"And BOOM," she wrote in an Instagram post at the time. "The first draft of Onyx Storm is off to my editor!"
As covered above, judging by how Yarros treats her audience, I am inclined to doubt her honesty about planning ahead or doing multiple drafts or edits. If she is this dedicated to lying to her readers, I fail to see why she wouldn’t lie to Instagram followers or the press. Let’s take her at her word for a moment, though. How much does she really plan ahead, and how much editing is she actually doing?
Outlines
I suspect that Yarros’s “planning” consists of outlines that are missing a lot of connective tissue. That is to say, given how her twists are delivered and how often she foreshadows things at the last minute, I suspect that she is more or less translating a simple outline of events, supported by a handful of half-written scenes, into a draft. She’s not thinking about scenes from come later in the outline as she does this, only transcribing as she goes along. It’s only in that second draft that she doubles back to slap in random lines of establishment to make things seem like they were properly set up.
The reveal that Jack is a venin is a big part of this conclusion. The work Nolon was doing on him as the infirmary was set up, subtly so. However, everything from the moment Jack returns to school life is jarring inconsistent, not properly meshing with the later reveal of his true nature. Then, of course, we also got the explanation of the twist in Chapter 60, which doesn’t build upon what was developed before. I have an inkling that Yarros’s outline only listed the scenes of Nolon at the infirmary, the scene where Jack returns to school life (but without any context of how he returns), and the reveal of the twist in Chapter 60 (not the explanation of the twist, just the fact that he is a venin and destroys the wardstone). That’s why Jack’s return occurs under such wonky circumstance - Yarros needed him to return at that point, but had no idea how, so she filled a scene by exposing her own gaslighting and made the scribes look incompetent. Jack’s inconsistent behavior in later chapters and the explanation of the twist were then written off the top of her head, with her snapping back to his original characterization when the time came to reveal him as a venin.
This could also explain all those moments where it seems like Yarros has smashed multiple conflicting drafts together. Let’s take Aaric’s confusing role in the story as an example. Maybe, in her outline, Yarros had jotted down notes for a few scenes where Aaric did function as a minor romantic rival to Xaden. She faithfully transcribed these elements into her text. However, without the connective tissue, she took the narrative in a very different direction in between those moments, making the return to the outline feel out of place.
Time Constraints
Onyx Storm is seven months from publication (at the time of that Instagram post), yet Yarros has only finished her first draft? On a book that, unless far smaller than the other two, will be at least 500 pages?
I can’t pretend I possess a deep knowledge of the editing process within the publishing industry, but I do have common sense. I also have experience with reviewing documents, both beta-reading the work of other authors and doing engineering reviews on technical reports and plan sets.
Printing a book isn’t like sending a digital copy of a film to movie theaters. You can’t make edits hours before release. Turning the manuscript into hard copy takes time, more so with hard covers, and especially with all the fancy page edging that goes onto the special edition. That inventory will then need to be packaged, shipped, and stocked. Marketing time is already being taken care of now, yet all the same, surely Yarros needs to have this book done at least a month in advance. That means that, at best, she had six months to work with (and, from what I recall hearing at a Writer’s Digest Conference, four months is a more reasonable number).
Then one needs to consider that, unless the editor is sending comments at the end of every chapter, not much work can get done while the editor is reviewing. That time really adds up.
When I do beta-reading, critiquing a chapter can take anywhere from 10 minutes (for a short chapter with little to comment upon) to two hours (for longer chapters with multiple things that require comments and recommendations). Extrapolate that over a book with, say, as many chapters as Iron Flame, as that’s easily 40 to 80 hours (one to two weeks of equivalent labor) per draft. Multiple drafts could easily cost one or more months of time.
It was a similar experience when I was doing engineering reviews. Every submittal (the equivalent to a draft for an engineer design project) needs a minimum of two weeks scheduled just to allow the reviewers to work. Chronologically, the review rarely fills the full two weeks, but given the number of different subject matter experts that need to weigh in, the total labor invested in a given submittal can easily exceed 40 hours. Bear in mind that these submittals rarely have even half the length of Fourth Wing, let alone Iron Flame. They are intentionally designed to be quickly read and easily understood (since they ultimately need to be given to construction crews, who are very busy people with not a lot of time to hunt for information), often using a lot of visuals that can be understood at a glance. They also don’t need to worry about things like plot, character, themes, or prose, just raw numbers and clear instructions. Despite the comparative simplicity, a typical design project, with four stages of design, could easily sink twomonths just into these reviews (and that’s assuming there were no glaring problems that forced multiple redrafts on the same submittal).
Bottom line, I have trouble believing that the total amount of time required for proper review by a professional editor, across multiple drafts, could be anything less than one month, which is a month in which Yarros cannot be particularly productive.
And then Yarros needs to implement the edits. Minor consistency edits, trimming the word count, and revising a scene for tone are easy enough, but those can still take days or weeks per draft if the document is large enough. Major issues could necessitate that she tear out and rework multiple scenes, which would then necessitate a cascade of more changes. Just this past month, I polished a manuscript of 120,000 words down to 112,000 words, making significant edits to only two scenes and adding only one more in the process. That alone took somewhere between 32 and 48 hours over the course of a week. Yarros's books are much longer, and she is only on her first draft (versus my manuscript being a fifth draft). She’s going to need a couple of months to correct problems and apply polish.
Bottom line, I can only see two possibilities here.
Yarros is going to be sweating under an extremely tight deadline that will compromise the quality of these bloated behemoths she has chosen to write, thereby nullifying whatever breathing room she gave herself by postponing the release of this book.
Yarros and her editor have an editing process that hinges on minimal edits, superficial changes (with second draft “foreshadowing” being the closest thing to intensive changes), and doing no more than three drafts (only two, if they can get away with it).
Results
There is every possibility that I am wrong. Perhaps Yarros does indeed put in the effort to develop detailed plans for her books. Maybe she and her editor are just very dedicated people who pour in a lot of overtime so that they can complete a lot of work very quickly. I respect folks who put in that effort.
The problem is the quality of the two books we’ve gotten thus far. The vast majority of problems I’ve identified are not deep cuts. They are a deluge of problems that are very loud and very obvious. Many could have been avoided if Yarros really had planned everything out from the start. Most of the rest should have been identified and addressed through the editing process. The only ways I can think to reconcile this are if Yarros ignores any feedback that would require major edits (with her the editor okaying the second draft to stay on schedule) or if her editor is not providing meaningful feedback, for whatever reason (fandom, lack of experience with the genre, inadequate time in the schedule, etc).
The long and short of it is, based on the quality we have gotten thus far, I have zero faith in Yarros’s ability to plan or edit, even if she is attempting to do these things. I will not be shocked if Onyx Storm also reads like a first draft with scattered lines of second-draft “foreshadowing”.
Artificiality
Throughout this review, I have called out moments of artificiality, typically in association with second-draft “foreshadowing” for a twist or a conflict resolution. I could very well be wrong about any number of these. Even if I was wrong every time, the criticism is still valid, for one very simple reason:
All fiction is, by its nature, artificial … but the audience should be able to forget that.
A well-written story will hide the hand of the author. Every plot twist, every new worldbuilding element, and every character decision should be feel like a natural fit within the narrative, either building upon what came before or existing alongside it without disruption. The artificiality of the narrative can certainly be discerned if one makes a deliberate effort to dissect the story, but even then, the disassembled elements should still have a sense of natural order to them.
A badly written story will make no effort to integrate all of its disparate elements. The artificiality is visible on even a casual read. When disassembled, there is nothing but chaos. Scenes where the author stops the story to try to gaslight the audience into thinking the chaos is actually order merely serves to highlight that the author is aware that this is a problem and yet can’t be bothered to correct it.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
Acts Two & Three
I call this “Acts Two & Three”, but in reality, that name is just for the sake of consistency with what we had in the Intermission. So much of Part Two is bloat that it is going to be no less thoroughly gutted than Part One was.
Cut all of the chapters, subplots, and scenes that go nowhere. This includes, but is not limited to:
The subplot about Violet being unable to aim (which, at minimum, would result in the removal of the first scenes of Chapters of 40 and 50).
Everything about the Jealousy subplot after Chapter 41, since it is invalid the moment Yarros establishes that Violet is only jealous because of Cat’s Signet. (I would say remove Cat outright, but I didn’t suggest removing her from Part One, so there should really be some payoff to her appearance there.) This would include everything from the second scene of Chapter 46 through the first scene of Chapter 49, as well as all of the moments where Cat transitions into validating Violet in later chapters.
The Cliffs of Dralor detour (Chapters 43 and 44).
Remove runes and maorsite from the story entirely (thereby eliminating most of Chapter 45, what’s left of Chapter 46, and a handful of spectacle moments from the climax). I think that these elements could work within the narrative, but they should be introduced early in another book (maybe the start of Onyx Storm) and explored thoroughly, rather than being slapped into the last third of this book with zero thought.
On a related note, cut all of the pointless scenes of interpersonal drama among the background characters. This would eliminate the remainder of Chapter 45 (thereby sparing us the embarrassing virtue signaling as a nice bonus).
Anything pertaining to the gryphon fliers coming to Aretia should be cut as well.
Cut the one-week delay in activating the Aretia wardstone, thereby removing the bulk of Chapter 52.
Remove the Solas attack (Chapters 53 and 54). This would almost eliminate the need for the remainder of Chapter 52, which was setup for that attack.
Delete the pointless plot thread about Jack planting venin lures in Chapters 60 and 61.
Remove the unnecessary twists and streamline the remaining ones.
Remove Xaden being an inntinnsic. Let him and Violet continue to rebuild their trust and be a happy couple until the cliffhanger about him becoming a venin. This would allow Chapter 55 and all their arguing from Chapter 56 to be cut as well.
Regarding the twist of Xaden being a venin, remove the duel (and its supporting scenes). Have him go for the Sage to buy Violet time for the wardstone, then cut to the aftermath. The flashback can stay, but only if the method of becoming a venin is changed to not make it so easy.
Remove the rainbow dragon twist. Have “the one” in “the six and the one” be some sort of human sacrifice, thereby justifying why Violet would sacrifice herself and why General Sorrengail taking her place would serve as a redemptive death. This would eliminate the need for a siphoning Signet (which is a good thing, since Sloane was cut from Part One and had all her contributions from Part Two cut as well). Andarna should stay in Aretia for the climax, far from the battle.
The published version of Part 2 is 331 pages. Just counting the full scenes and chapters that could be deleted outright, these edits would remove 130 pages, trimming Part Two does to just 201 pages. Combined with the slimmed down Part One, we would be left with a book of approximately 400 pages. This would produce a much faster-paced narrative whilst removing a lot of unnecessary clutter in terms of character and worldbuilding.
The Standalone
Much like with Part One, I feel that Part Two could be made into a standalone novel if Yarros built upon and fleshed out ideas that she only skims over in the published version. However, I would recommend one significant change. If Yarros really wants to continue that school story premise after leaving Basgiath, then she should commit to going all the way with it. Rather than converting Aretia into Basgiath 2.0 and then bringing the gryphon fliers to Aretia, she should have had Aretia send the rider cadets into Poromiel to be educated as the fliers’ training school.
The new book would look something like this. (For convenience’s sake, I shall be referring to the chapter numbers as they are in the published book.)
In Chapter 37, when the Aretia rebel leadership challenges Xaden about bringing untrained cadets to Aretia, he would admit that he does not have an easy answer to that problem, rather than suggesting that the rebel leadership overload themselves with teaching duties.
During the negotiations with Teclis in Chapter 42, Teclis would request that the defected riders and bonded dragons in Aretia relocate to Poromiel. This would pay off both his offer to Violet and a throwaway line earlier in the text about Teclis wanting dragons to protect his palace.
We would then get several chapters of Violet experiencing academic life among the gryphon fliers while hearing about the progress on the battlefront. This time would allow for a deeper exploration of multiple elements that the published novel either sloppily delivers or else only touches upon in passing.
The friction between the rider and flier cadets, including scenes that actually show us the fights between the two factions.
The difference in perspectives and practices of the riders versus the fliers, with emphasis on their perspectives about death.
The difference between quality of life in Poromiel versus Navarre.
Both runes and maorsite could be introduced as tools wielded by the Poromish against the venin and wyverns. By making these into distinctly Poromish innovations, the issue of why they haven’t fundamentally redefined the world would be somewhat mitigated. Navarre’s inability to replicate this magic could be attributed to their inability to study gryphon magic while inside Navarre’s wards. If Yarros wants runes to support infrastructure in Basgiath, then Navarre could be stated to be far inferior to Poromiel in runes due to a lack of innovation. Either explanation for why we are only now being exposed to this magic would enhance the theme about isolationism being bad, as Navarre’s isolationism is actively hurting its ability to keep up with its neighbor in an intellectual field (even if the dragon wards are balancing things out for now).
As part of this time in Poromiel, the Jealousy conflict would get a deeper exploration. In this version, Cat would be developed as a far more sympathetic character who genuinely loves Xaden rather than the power he potentially offers her, and the political marriage between her and Xaden would have been ruined by Teclis’s actions rather than Xaden rejecting her. This would create a scenario in which Violet has a legitimate concern that Cat might steal Xaden away from her. Violet would then have to confront her flaw of insecurity. Rather than this flaw evaporating in the face of validation and special gifts, she would need to wrestle with her insecurity and build a bond of respect with Cat through mutual hardships and conflict with the venin.
Eventually, Violet would receive word that Jesinia (who stayed behind in Aretia) has cracked the code to activate the Aretia wardstone. She and Xaden fly back there so that Tairn and Sgaeyl can activate the wardstone. If Yarros wants an action scene to live things up, the pair could arrive while a raiding party of venin and wyverns are attacking, forcing them to rush to activate the wardstone (providing an immediate example of its effects).
Before Violet and Xaden can return to Poromiel, the message from Melgren arrives. Everything from Chapter 57 onward will progress more or less as it did in the published book.
I would also recommend the same streamlining and removal of twists as the Acts Two & Three version of the edits.
The Overhaul
This one isn’t going to be an outline like the other two. Rather, I want to consider what Yarros is trying to accomplish with this book and provide three recommendations that could serve as the foundation for a full rewrite.
Obviously, it’s hard to understand the place of the second book within a five-book series before reading the rest of the series (or at least reading the third book). However, I think we can hazard a guess as to what Iron Flame was meant to accomplish based upon an answer Yarros gave in that TODAY.com interview from June 2023.
The books are fully potted for five books. The whole series is plotted out and arced and all of that. And I think it really deals with the theme of history: Who's allowed to tell our history, and what happens when only people in power are the ones who record our history.
Based upon this statement and what we actually got in Iron Flame, I suspect that the purpose of this book was to advance this theme by building upon the venin revelation from Fourth Wing. That book dropped the reveal on us with no meaningful setup (second-draft “foreshadowing” does not count, especially not in books this bloated), but I think that can be workable as a starting point. Violet’s comfortable world has been shattered by the reveal that she has been lied to her whole life. It’s especially jarring for her because she was trained as a scribe and thus had good reason to think she properly understood how the world worked. On top of that, she was immediately thrown into a battle. She therefore didn’t have time to process that revelation and begin to understand how it affected her world.
Iron Flame is when Violet should have had time to process things and understand the impact of that revelation. Yarros pays lip service to this concept. Violet jumps to paranoid conclusions and has visceral emotional reactions, and everyone who disagrees with her new, righteous viewpoint is suddenly very shady. A lot of emphasis is also put onto the rider leadership being this looming threat that will kill Violet and the rebel children at the slightest provocation.
The reason why none of these things work is that Yarros doesn’t truly commit to them. I’m not just talking about how she kneecapped the rider leadership. Rather, because she is so committed to the magical school setting above all else, and the weird Trust conflict secondarily, she doesn’t give Violet time to properly engage with the theme. Violet has to jump to conclusions about who is and isn’t trustworthy because she doesn’t have time to actually puzzle through the matter. Violet needs to defeat Draconis within the scenes where he is a threat because she needs to get back to classes in the following scenes.
The theme is all but abandoned once the story moves to Aretia. The school story continues, and a new conflict consumes the Romance subplot, but the only references to the theme are to gaslight the audience about plot holes. Why are the defecting riders left alone? Because it’s the only way Navarre can keep their secret (allegedly, don’t think too hard about that). Why couldn’t Violet correctly translate the wardstone instructions? Because someone who isn’t even a character wanted to control history (based on motivations that should drive him to do the exact opposite).
To properly overhaul Iron Flame, the theme needs to come first. The school story and the Romance subplot can still be high on the list of priorities, but they need to come after the theme if this series is going to have a proper sense of cohesion and progression. I would therefore recommend the following three changes to serve as a focal point of a full overhaul of this book:
Xaden and the rebel children to not return from Aretia to Basgiath at the start of the book. Violet returns alone.
Make Dain the main antagonist.
Violet never leads a mass defection from Basgiath.
Violet Returns Alone
While my initial motivation for this change is to avoid kneecapping the rider leadership’s competence right out the starting gate, I do have a greater reason for it.
Violet spends Part One of the published book primarily confiding in and interacting with the rebel children. Her accessories fade into the background. I don’t think this is unrealistic, given how Violet simply can’t talk to her accessories about the venin threat, but as we have covered, it hamstrings the character dynamics.
If Violet returns to Basgiath alone, she loses the emotional support net that the rebel children provide. This will isolate her. She will need to interact with her accessories primarily, which will make her struggle over not telling them everything more intense.
That’s not to say that she won’t interact with the rebel children at all. Regardless of whether all of the other rebel children at Basgiath flee the school, get executed, or receive some pardon for Xaden’s crimes by General Sorrengail, Violet can still be visited discretely by Xaden and the other rebel children who are now based out of Aretia. Perhaps they work together to try to keep the smuggling operation going, or perhaps this is what kicks off the wardstone research.
Without the support net that she has in the published version, Violet will need to build allies within the school. While feeling out who she can trust, she will have opportunities to see how radically different her perspective and worldview is from everyone else’s now that she is no longer blinded by the altered history.
This change alone will already go a long way towards addressing the thematic issues. It will also enable the preservation of the school story. Given that Xaden is already geographically separated from Violet in the published version, I don’t see it having any adverse impacts of the Romance subplot, especially of he is sneaking back to Basgiath to visit her for rebellion business.
Dain is the Villain
Again, this is a change that started with a rather localized motivation. If Yarros wants to demonize Dain throughout this book, she needs to make him deserve that demonization. In the published version of the story, he shows nothing but earnest repentance and a willingness to atone for something that wasn’t his fault in the first place. Having Violet grind away at him is just sickening to behold. However, if Dain was presented as a genuine threat to Violet, actively undermining her and trying to use her to take down the rebel children, then framing him as the bad guy makes sense.
However, in terms of the bigger picture, this would be a great opportunity to explore the theme. Violet sees Dain’s efforts to mend bridges with her - and she doesn’t know that she can’t trust him. After all, maybe the climax of Fourth Wing happened because he read her memories, but she has no proof that he read her memories in the first place, let alone that he saw and reported something incriminating. All Violet has is circumstantial evidence that Dain knew she was flying into a trap. On top of that, she needs allies if she is going to help the rebel children from inside Basgiath. Dain is her childhood friend. Surely, if he knew the truth about the venin, he would gladly come to her aid, right? Her best friend could never be involved in the rider leadership’s deception. Only Xaden’s warnings would keep her from bringing him into the fold immediately.
Throughout the book, as Violet probes for allies and tries to figure out who she can trust, Dain would be close at hand, an easy solution to all of her problems. Markham is revealed to be a snake (per my proposal that he could be a false ally, from back in the Intermission), but surely she couldn’t make the same mistake twice. Eventually, the time comes for Violet to steal the journals, aided by the allies she’s built thus far (and maybe Xaden and some of the rebel children can infiltrate Basgiath to help as well). After the heist, it isn’t Nolon she encounters, but Dain. In a moment of desperation, to avoid being caught, she reveals everything to him.
Unfortunately, it turns out that was the wrong decision. Dain isn’t just loyal to the rider leadership over her - he already knows about the deception. He is fully on board with it. This leads to Violet’s arrest, imprisonment, and torture, only to be broken out by Xaden. Preferably, Dain would live to continue serving as an antagonist in future books (possibly even redeeming himself, if he’s meant to be important later in the series), but having Violet or Xaden kill him during the rescue would at least tie up a loose end.
No Defection
While Violet does not lead a mass defection from Basgiath, she and her small cohort of trust allies would still flee (which is what they were going to do anyway in the published version, in the aftermath of the rescue mission). However, the events of Part Two would be radically compressed, so as to keep the theme in focus.
Violet and Jesinia would quickly decipher the one journal they managed to recover and raise the wards at Aretia, only for their efforts to produce the flawed wards that we see in the published version. They discover this when wyvern attack and are able to reach Aretia, albeit in a weakened state. They need more information to fix the wards, but unfortunately, the rider leadership reclaimed the second journal when Dain betrayed Violet (just like in the published version) The rider leadership is, in a sense, still maintaining their power through a monopoly on historical information.
Then Melgren’s messenger arrives. He has foreseen the inevitable fall of Basgiath’s wards. If Violet returns to Basgiath, bringing the stolen journal and Andarna with her, he will leave Aretia and everyone there in peace; otherwise, he will destroy Aretia and reclaim Violet, Andarna, and the journal by force. Violet agrees to return to spare her loved ones, but Xaden and other rebel children pursue her back to Basgiath. It is at this point that Jack (who would still be brought back in this version of the story) would destroy the Basgiath wardstone, triggering the events of the published book’s climax - including the twist of Andarna being a rainbow dragon.
Yes, I would keep Andarna as a rainbow dragon in this overhauled story, but with one key difference: Melgren, as the leader of the Empyrean-backed military, would be fully aware of her true nature. It’s why he wants her back at Basgiath. While I think that this twist should be downplayed somewhat, with it being a truth that is revealed to Violet rather than being presented as some grand revelation that she deciphers on her own, I think that presenting it in this fashion would enhance the theme. If Melgren and the Empyrean had not suppressed the information of what Andarna was and why she is important, than wards could have been successfully erected around Aretia. If they had not forced her to return, for undisclosed reasons, then the rebel children would not have needed to follow Violet, and Melgren could have foreseen Jack’s actions and prevented the wardstone’s destruction. The people who embody the anti-theme would be the reason for all of the death and destruction of the climax (versus what we got in the published version, wherein the people embodying the theme caused that mess instead).
Final Thoughts on the Overhaul
A lot of stuff would be cut from this proposed rewrite - Teclis’s luminary, everything involving Poromiel and the gryphon fliers, etc. - but I don’t feel like those would be major losses. Yarros doesn’t do anything meaningful with them in the published book. Teclis ends up being a minor bump in the road. The only flier who ends up mattering in any capacity is Cat, and she is squandered.
Overall, bloat and a lack of focus are among the biggest issues with Iron Flame. I think that if Yarros made her intended theme the priority, trimming out everything that did not directly tie into it, I think that she would not only not only produce a better paced story but also build strong investment in her characters due to their proximity to the core theme.
CONCLUSION
Iron Flame is a horrific excuse for literature.
If you liked it, that’s fine. I myself enjoy and find entertainment in many things that are of inferior quality. However, let’s not pretend that it is anything more than incoherent nonsense used to cocoon pornography and an unhinged power fantasy of moral and emotional validation. In the end, those addictions are the only value it provides.
I genuinely hope that Onyx Storm will be good. Even just being bad will be a substantial improvement. I had no shortage of criticism for A Master of Djinn, Notorious Sorcerer, Blood Heir, The City of Brass, or Son of the Storm, but at the very least those books don’t actively eat themselves. If Onyx Storm only manages to achieve the bare minimum of basic coherency, I will view that as cause for celebration.
In any case, I am very happy to not have to deal with lies and gaslighting from a book, at least for the next few months. I am very much looking forward to reviewing something that is actually good again.
WHAT’S NEXT
Beginning September 20th, we will revisit Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for another book club-style deep dive.
As previous touched upon, this review will have a very different purpose that the reviews for books of The Empyrean. This won’t be an exhaustive analysis of every aspect of Goblet of Fire. Rather, the purpose of this analysis will be to explore the interconnected layers of the plot: the foreshadowing, the synergies of the subplots, the progression of events throughout the Triwizard Tournament, and of course how the school story is interwoven with the series-wide story about Voldemort and builds towards his resurrection. Through the analysis, we will be doing side-by-side comparisons with Fourth Wing, along with discussion of how the plot of Fourth Wing could have been enhanced by following the model set by Goblet of Fire. Hopefully you will find this style of review both entertaining and educational.
Goblet of Fire will mark the shift to biweekly releases for the longer series (so after September 20th, there will be a release on October 4th, October 18th, etc.). This is mainly a concession for time. Putting out this series ate up far more time that I anticipated, and other projects have been neglected (like that If They Planned It All Ahead series for the Star Wars sequel trilogy that I’ve promised for two years now). However, this will also allow me to more easily slot other book reviews (both stand-alone reviews and shorter review series) into the weeks that aren’t focused on Goblet of Fire. I can’t guarantee content every week, but at least there will be more room for variety. You can look forward to the following reviews over the next handful of months:
Caraval, a YA Fantasy by Stephanie Garber
The Eye of Minds, a YA Sci-Fi by James Dashner
Murtagh, an Epic Fantasy (potentially YA, given that it is a spinoff from the Inheritance Cycle, but I’m hazy on that point) by Christopher Paolini
Heretius, the third book in Warhammer 40K’s Eisenhorn Trilogy, by Dan Abnett
And, of course, once Onyx Storm hits, you can look forward to a long-form review series on that. I am tentatively targeting March 28th for the first entry in that series. Not only will this allow me two months to organize my thoughts, but it will also allow this series to pick up after the Goblet of Fire analysis ends (since it would defeat the purpose of switching to biweekly posts for longer series if I wrote two biweekly series).
I appreciate you all for sticking with me through this series. Great job, everyone. Have a good week, and I hope to see you next time.
