Iron Flame (Chapter 1 & Chapter 2)
STATS
Title: Iron Flame
Series: The Empyrean (Book 2)
Author(s): Rebecca Yarros
Genre: Fantasy (Epic)
First Printing: November 2023
Publisher: Red Tower Books
Rating: 1/10
SPOILER WARNING
Heavy spoilers will be provided for the entire story up through the end of the content covered in this part. Mild spoilers for elements later in the story may be provided, but I will keep the first paragraph of each section as spoiler-free as possible. Heavy spoilers from later in the book will be confined to clearly labelled sections.
STORY
The book opens with the line:
Revolution tastes oddly … sweet.
Violet has a light chat with Brennan - her brother who has seemingly been brought back from the dead - over honeyed biscuits. (“Damn, that’s good. Really good.”) Violet mentally info-dumps groundwork for the story. We learn that Brennan has changed his last name as part of the revolution against Navarre ("for obvious reasons”). After the chat covers the taste of the biscuits and Brennan’s name change, he goes to meet with the Assembly, the leadership of the second revolution by Tyrrendor against Navarre.
Violet follows Brennan and ends up listening outside of the Assembly meeting. (She and the surviving rebel children from the end of Fourth Wing are allowed to attend, but they choose to lurk at the doorway and eavesdrop. This is supposedly justified by the fact that the Assembly is debating the fate of the rebel children, but since they are spotted and end up getting pulled into the discussion at a dramatic moment, it’s clear Yarros only did this so that she could info dump without the characters getting in the way.) It is at this point that Violet finally feels emotional about seeing Brennan (after just chatting with him over biscuits with only mild shock). She sees Xaden and reflects on how she loves him but can’t trust him. We then get to overhear the Assembly meting, which covers the state of the revolution, a debate about whether to send the rebel children back to Basgiath War College and the Rider’s Quadrant, and how the revolution needs to acquire something called a “luminary”. After the consensus is reached that the rebel children will return to the Quadrant, the meeting adjourns.
It is at this point that Violet finally blows up at Brennan and reacts to him faking his death. He catches her up on various aspects of the worldbuilding once she calms down. Violet then travels out of Tyrrendor’s capital city to the valley where the dragons for her and the rebel children are. We see that Andarna, her young gold feathertail, is rapidly undergoing puberty and has now become a black dragon. Violet and the rebel children all agree that they need to go back to the Quadrant to prevent the other rebel children from being executed, with Violet insisting that her mother will not allow them to be put to death without evidence of wrongdoing. They need to hurry so as to be back at the Quadrant in time for the year’s graduation ceremony.
LAST TIME, ON THE EMPYREAN
These opening chapters are not well-written. They enflame old wounds in the fabric of this series and open new ones. They also waste no time in reinforcing that Violet is still a deplorable individual who’s very hard to get invested in as the POV of the story.
With that being said, when considered purely in terms of opening a sequel, they are a good start.
The trick with opening a sequel is that you can’t count on the reader perfectly remembering the previous book. They might have gone months or years between reading entries in the series. Details will fade. It is therefore necessary to reintroduce the readers to the plot, characters, and world.
However, balance is needed. You can’t just info-dump the lore of any and all preceding books in the opening chapters. That will derail the pace of the story before it can even build up any momentum. You also need to provide a compelling start to the new book’s story. Postponing the true start of the story for the sake of multiple chapters of recap is not wise.
I think that Yarros found that right balance. While the specific means by which she delivers some of the repeat lore is a blatant info-dump, the density of the lore is just right. It’s heavy enough to get us to the actual story in a timely manner but not so heavy as to make it hard to connect with the material.
What’s more, it isn’t all recap. Yarros expands upon established lore and conflicts with new information. She also slips in the introduction of the luminary, in a rare example of her properly foreshadowing things rather than establishing them and immediately making them relevant.
There is very little about these books that I would consider to be a positive example, but if you are trying to figure out how to open up a sequel for an Epic Fantasy story, I think that these chapters would be a good point of reference.
PLOT
Plot Threads
These chapters quickly revive old plot threads and establish new ones. Two main plots and three subplots are established.
Main
Existential threat of the venin
Rebellion against Navarre
Sub
Violet and Xaden's romance subplot
The luminary
Restore / expand the dragon wards
Venin Threat
Right out the gate, we are told that the venin are sweeping across the Continent (yes, this fantasy realm is simply called “the Continent”). Brennan believes that they will be assaulting Navarre within six months. The revolution (which I am hereafter going to refer to interchangeably as "the Aretia rebellion" and “the Aretia rebels”, after the ruined city they are using as their base) needs to acquire weapons made from the alloy that powers Navarre’s wards in order to fight the venin. This is both for their own defense and to distribute to the gryphon fliers of Poromiel.
I'm on the fence about how this plot opens. I do like that Yarros is laying out the stakes in plain terms can be applied to Violet's POV (since she is not directly fighting the threat). However, as touched upon in the Fourth Wing review, the groundwork has not been laid in the setting for the stakes to be this high.
Poromiel has endured the venin for 600 years. The wards around Navarre has kept the venin out for all that time. What has changed to allow the venin to not only break the stalemate but rapidly expand? Brennan has a throwaway line about how the venin have never previously organized behind a leader, but that is very hard to believe if the venin have been around for 600 years and were enough of a threat that Navarre erased them from history to maintain order.
In other words, this is potentially a great plot threads, but it stumbles at the starting line because of worldbuilding problems. These stakes feel hollow.
Rebellion
If Navarre learns of the Aretia rebels, they will be snuffed out. The return of Violet, Xaden, and the other rebel children present at the climax of Fourth Wing risks their exposure. What's more, the rider leadership will be actively suspicious of them and trying to catch them out in wrongdoing. After all, the trap laid for them in the climax of Fourth Wing was set because the rider leadership had proof of seditious activity.
I think the reintroduction of this plot thread is functional. It’s just that this is also hobbled by the worldbuilding. I’ll touch upon part of the reason why when we get to the Worldbuilding section of this part, but the core issues don’t actually surface until Chapters 3 and 4 (which we will cover next week).
One aspect of this plot thread that is not functional, regardless of the worldbuilding, is the fact that Yarros executes the first of many retcons here. The fact that Navarre has suppressed all information about venin is folded into the rebellion subplot. The previous book pushed this as the work of the rider leadership. However, Chapter 2 suddenly begins pushing the idea that the scribes of Navarre are the ones with the power here. While this does make sense within the context of the world, the execution of this is going to assassinate every scribe character from the last book except Jesinia (who, as Violet’s friend - and a tokenized character - cannot be evil), changing them into moustache-twirling villains and idiots.
Romance
Violet is mad at Xaden because he kept secrets from her when they were not in a relationship. These are secrets that she now knows and accepts were necessary to combat an existential threat. What little time he had to tell those secrets between agreeing to a relationship and her finding out n her own were squandered by her when she chose to have sex with him rather than asking questions.
This is a really dumb and contrived subplot from the outset. Yarros knows this. Violet herself admits, in these opening chapters, that her position is wholly irrational and motivated by emotion. However, Yarros will turn around and treat this purely emotion-based position as perfectly logical and rational whenever she wants to validate Violet.
I know that testing the relationship between the characters is a classical trope of writing sequels to romances. However, this is a really bad way to do it. Later in this book, the subplot is going to shift to a jealousy-based conflict, and for as shallow as that ends up being, it's still better than this.
The Luminary
The luminary subplot does not become relevant until the second part of the book. What we are told here is that there are two luminaries, one in Basgiath War College and another owned by someone named Viscount Tecarus (whom I will hereafter refer to as "Teclis", as I keep forgetting his actual name and reverting to the name of the elf wizard from Warhammer). The luminary is one of the main reasons for Violet and the rebel children to return to the Riders Quadrant. Teclis is being unreasonable with his price to hand over his luminary to the Aretia rebels, so the rebel children need to forge venin-killing weapons (or at least make the alloy) in the Basgiath luminary and then smuggle those weapons to the border.
The luminary subplot of this book is handled the way that the venin and Navarre's concealment of the venin should have been in the last book. It will not be relevant for a long time. However, rather than tacking on chunks of blunt exposition, Yarros slips mentions of the luminary in gradually. It meshes naturally with the flow of conversation. Rather than holding up a sign that says THIS IS IMPORTANT, Yarros just makes us aware of it and puts it on a shelf for us to pick up later.
Dragon Wards
Much like the venin threat, the need to restore and expand the dragon wards is established as something important but fails due to the setting.
Aretia is, supposedly, outside of the boundary of the wards. There is a wardstone, a magical artifact that projects the wards, adjacent to Aretia, but it is nonfunctional. Violet wants to reactivate it, both to ensure Aretia is safe from the venin and to laid groundwork to expand the wards beyond Navarre.
The problem? Aretia should absolutely be inside the wards.
The e-book for Iron Flame does not include a map of Navarre, but there is apparently a map in the hard copy, and said map has already been copied to the wiki for The Empyrean. We have been explicitly told that the area protected by the wards is circular, with Basgiath at the epicenter. Looking at a map, Aretia is closer to Basgiath than the eastern front between Navarre and Poromiel is. How, then, is it outside the wards? And why would Navarre allow it to be outside of the wards? How have venin not infiltrated Tyrrendor (the province in which Aretia is located) long ago and seized control, thereby revealing themselves to Navarre?
I'll stop there, as we are drifting into worldbuilding. The long and short of it is, this subplot exists to give Violet some means to contribute to the story. It's a good idea in principle. I just think it is bad to start a subplot in a manner that is directly countered by the visual aids included to enhance the reader experience.
Jump-Start
Fourth Wing ended on the reveal that Brennan is still alive. Iron Flame begins with Violet and Brennan having their first conversation since that reveal (or so it seems, given that Violet seems to be in a state of shock). Chapter 2 then has Violet blowing up at Brennan for allowing their family to think he was dead, something that contributed to the death of their father.
I don't think it is unrealistic for a character to be in shock of such a reveal and only really have emotions boil over after taking time to process the information. The problem here is purely narrative in nature. By starting the book while Violet is still shocked, rather than when she blows up, Yarros squanders the narrative momentum that the cliffhanger ending offered her. This twist is not such a big deal if sitting and talking about how tasty a honeyed biscuit is takes priority.
What's more, the muted reaction drains the energy from the text. Chapter 1 feels very bland. Its nature as a recap is blatant. It isn't until Chapter 2, when Violet blows up at Brennan for his deception, that things finally have some life in them.
I think these reactions should have been reversed. We should have opened on Violet's emotions boiling over, have Brennan leave for his meeting, and then have them have a mellower conversation once Violet has had time to process everything that has been thrown at her.
CHARACTER
We get some ... interesting character work in these opening chapters.
The protagonists more or less carry on with who they were the previous book. However, for the antagonists, Yarros wastes no time diving into heavy retcons. I think that what she was going for could have worked in smaller does. As it is, she took things so far that she is effectively gaslighting the audience to cover up for her failure to properly set characters in the previous book.
Violet Sorrengail
Right off the bat, we get confirmation that Violet's personality has not improved as a result of the climax of the last book. Her trust issues with Xaden boil down to her being mad that sex doesn't earn her a security clearance. She also doesn't respect other people or authority, as indicated by her demanding unearned respect from people debating whether her involvement has damned their cause (and, by extension, all of established human civilization).
"She is standing right here,” I snap, and an unflattering amount of satisfaction courses through me at the number of jaws that drop in front of me. “So stop talking about me and try talking to me."
Maybe someone with more integrity could have pulled that off, but all I could thing is that this Karen is demanding a seat at the table for matters in which she has no authority. This is a gathering of military leaders, not bickering at a family picnic. Someone with Violet's background should absolutely understand that.
Now, on the matter of Violet's trust issues and the bad conflict of the romance subplot, there was a glimmer of hope. Tairn tries to talk her down from her stance on Xaden. This is how she responds.
“Stop bringing logic into an emotional argument.” I fold my arms across my chest. It’s my heart that won’t fully let my head forgive Xaden.
I've touched upon above how this makes the romance conflict feel contrived. However, there is something else to consider here.
Glimmer of Awareness (Heavy Spoilers)
This is the first time that Violet has stepped back from one of her delusions and actually made use of her supposed intellect. She has separated her emotions from the reality of the scene.
I really like this. So many of Violet's flaws could be mitigated if the narrative acknowledged that she was operating purely on emotion. Even her treatment of Dain is at least blunted by this. When I first read it, I thought that maybe, just maybe, Violet would undergo something of a redemption in this book. She could reflect upon her behavior and grow at the person. At the very least, this new approach of self-awareness could allow for an intentional exploration of her flaws.
That is not what happens.
By Chapter 3, Violet is right back to asserting that she is completely rational for equating sex with a security clearance. Throughout this book, she will sink to incredible depths of hypocrisy. She does not improve.
In short, this moment of self-awareness is out of character for her.
Xaden Riorson
Xaden is the nominal leader of the Assembly, given that Aretia legally belongs to him. (We went over why that makes no sense in the Fourth Wing review, but let's set that aside for now.) Other than that, he remains a Bad Boy Love Interest who is emotionally invested in Violet. There isn’t much else to analyze here except to reiterate the fact that he risked the execution of more than a hundred innocent people, most of whom are children, so that he can continue his rebellion against Navarre.
Brennan Aisereigh
Brennan is Violet's older brother, thought dead (apparently resurrected) in the Tyrrish rebellion six years earlier. He loves his siblings, hates their mother, and is helping the rebels now because That's Good. He helped to put down the previous rebellion because -
What do you mean, "Why is his name not Brennan Sorrengail?" Brennan himself tells us.
“I had to change my last name for obvious reasons."
There you have it. Obvious reasons. Moving on, the reason he previously fought to the point of death against the Tyrrish was -
What do you mean by, " 'Obvious reasons' is a non-answer?"
I mean ... yes, his dragon would automatically expose his identity, since dragons don't take multiple riders. Keeping his first name would also have a high risk of exposing him, as dragon riders aren't established as being such a large group that a Brennan who surfaced right after the rebellion wouldn't raise red flags, and we know from Fourth Wing that the names of riders and the dragons to whom they are bonded are among the meticulous records kept by Navarre. For that matter, because Navarre is unaware of this movement festering in Aretia, there is no functional purpose to masking his identity from Navarre ... and that would be better accomplished by a codename, anyway. Fine, and the Assembly knows who he really is, so he's not masking his identity from them. And I guess later interactions in this book show that the only people who care about Brennan being a Sorrengail are also the people who can recognize him at a glance, so it’s not like a false name would help in any face-to-face interactions with people outside of the rebellion.
Yeah, all right. This name change is really dumb, serves no purpose, and goes nowhere. Yarros is once again trying to fill a plot hole that doesn't exist, and she does this while also trying to skip out on explaining anything. It is a complete waste of time.
Now, back to analyzing Brennan's charac -
What do you mean, “Yarros didn't give him any other defining traits?”
Tairn and Andarna
Tairn remains a force of nature at Violet's command. He's willing to chide her for irrationality, but he doesn't put any serious effort into winning her over outside of that.
Andarna's actions in the climax of Fourth Wing have triggered dragon puberty. She is slipping into something called the Dreamless Sleep to complete the growth process (conveniently removing her from the narrative until Part Two). The only new thing we learn about her is that Yarros will be portraying her into a stereotypical human teenager for future dialogue.
Colonel Aetos
To clarify, this is not Violet's friend Dain, but his father. He is the aide to Violet's mother. He actually appeared in a couple scenes in Fourth Wing, and his was the name signed on the note left for Xaden that kicked off the climax of that book.
I didn't mention Colonel Aetos in the previous book because he was a non-character. He was just Best Friend's Dad / Mom's Co-Worker. Nadine, the mob character I decided to call attention to just to demonstrate a point (which is coming in a few more chapters), has more character than him, and you may recall that she only ever had one character trait (which she lost by the end of Fourth Wing).
Yarros retcons his role in the previous story in Chapter 2. Violet is told that Colonel Aetos is wholly responsible for the trap at the climax of Fourth Wing. At first glance, this is fine. It is framed as Colonel Aetos being the one who organized the War Games that were the cover for the trap. However, the book also claims that Violet's mother has zero awareness of this operation. Colonel Aetos somehow acted on her authority at every stage of planning and operation, including emptying out a border fort and the implied procurement and planting of a venin lure, without her approval or involvement.
This is ridiculous. It was immediately evident on a first read that Yarros views any involvement in the trap as an unforgivable sin, yet she also wants the Quadrant alone to be responsible for the operation (rather than a higher authority, like Melgren) AND wants to open up a redemption story for Violet's mother. She therefore tries to turn a nothing character into a scapegoat. This falls flat.
And, believe me, it is only going to get worse as we progress.
General Sorrengail
As mentioned above, Yarros makes it blatantly clear that she wants Violet's mother to be redeemed. Despite spending a whole book characterizing General Sorrengail as a cold-hearted bitch who would rather have a dead daughter than a disabled one, we are suddenly supposed to believe she had no part in an operation that would have been designed to harm a group of seditious riders (a group whom Violet was not a part of and only got dragged into the trap alongside by circumstance).
This is laughable. I think the line that really seals the sheer ridiculousness of this heel-turn is this one, where Violet rationalizes that she and the rebel children won't be executed if they return to the Quadrant.
"[My mother] may be a lot of things, but she won’t let Colonel Aetos or even Markham kill me without evidence."
First, this contradicts the worldbuilding. It was made very clear, as far back as Chapter 2 of Fourth Wing, that the Quadrant is not hobbled by due process. They jump right to executions.
More important to this section, we have no evidence to support this assertion. All we have to go on is Violet's word that Brennan's death devastated their mother. Maybe that might work for another character, but it falls flat for General Sorrengail after all of her scenes in the last book demonstrating just how cold she truly is.
(And, as we will get to when we reach Chapter 8, it is going to be directly contradicted in this very book.)
Dain Aetos
What a waste of potential.
Let's ignore the fact that Dain is the victim of a toxic and abusive friendship with a twisted, delusion woman who reviles him for doing the same things that she gets weak-kneed over her sex object doing. Let's ignore the fact that being used as a punching bag for an entire book has preemptively defanged him. He could still make for a compelling antagonist in Iron Flame.
He understands Violet, on account of having grown up with her, and thus can anticipate her weaknesses and her plans.
He is a devoted follower of the Codex and other assorted rules, putting him as odds with any rebellious behavior.
He can read minds at a touch, meaning that he can easily steal secrets from Violet or any rebel child.
In these chapters, and those to follow, this potential is squandered. He is simply a scapegoat whom Violet blames for Liam's death in the last book - ignoring that Liam’s death was Xaden's fault for committing sedition in the first place, Xaden's fault for putting Liam in his squad all so that he could smuggle weapons in the middle of a supposed War Games exercise, and Liam's own decision to follow Xaden into the final battle instead of fleeing.
Also, Yarros tries to assign a new character flaw to Dain. Xaden says the following to explain how he will keep Dain from reading Violet's mind, regardless of whether ordered to do so.
"By hitting him in his biggest weakness—his pride.” Xaden’s mouth curves into a ruthless smile.
Pride is not one of Dain's flaws. You could claim he is overbearing. You can argue that he prioritizes rules over mortality. A case can be presented that he fails to respect both boundaries and privacy. When it comes to pride, though, he is exceedingly humble. That's what allowed him to be defanged so thoroughly. He would not stand up for himself before Violet’s rampages and went out of his way to accept fault in situations where Violet was in the wrong. Yarros making up a new flaw comes across almost like unprovoked spite (or projection).
Ciaran, Eya, and Masen
Three new rebel children are introduced in this chapter. None of them get actual characterization, only physical descriptions (Ciaran has a cherubic face, Eya’s eyebrow is pierced, and Masen wears glasses). They are just more blurry faces in Yarro’s every growing mob of background extras and Red Shirts.
Wait, Masen wears glasses?
Why was HE not identified as a liability and assassinated by the other cadets before his Threshing? His vision would impair his ability to participate in flight operations. At a bare minimum, his effectiveness will be hamstrung if his glasses ever fall off (and since Yarros introduces this superficial excuse of a character trait by having Masen push his glasses up his nose, they clearly slip off whenever he’s just standing around. I do not buy that they’d stay on his face for complex flight maneuvers with the wind tearing at his face).
I don’t plan to bring up every mob character in this review. It’s just that these three will be relevant (or should be relevant) to the events of Chapters 3 and 4, with Eya having additional relevance in our analysis of Chapters 16 and 30. Going forward, the only background characters I plan to keep in focus are Nadine, continuing the exercise I started back in the Fourth Wing review, and Eya.
WORLDBUILDING
The book just started, and already, Yarros is mercilessly blowing fresh holes in it.
Actually, I’ve worn out the concept of holes tearing through or undermining this series. Something more creative is needed.
Yarros is already declaring Exterminatus on her story and begun dropping the virus bombs.
Venin and Wyverns
The fact that venin want the dragon hatching grounds as Basgiath as an energy source makes sense in light of the rules established in the previous book. What makes less sense is the reveal that the Aretia rebels had no idea that wyverns are created artificially, rather than hatched. Violet knows this because of a book of lore. Why was this same lore not available outside of Navarre (in, say, Poromiel), where it would be accessible to the people actively fighting the wyverns? The previous book only established that lore and history were tampered with in Navarre, not elsewhere.
Brennan establishes that there are multiple breeds of wyvern: those that breathe blue fire, and those that breathe green. (The climax of this book will also reveal wyverns that breathe red fire.) Yarros never explains what the different colors of fire do, nor are we shown a difference in the colors, so this is meaningless set dressing.
Also, the fact that Navarre can make venin lures is never addressed again. One would think that this would be a big revelation. The lore was even a mystery box in the last book. The shady government that is masking an existential threat can also control the path of destruction carved by that threat. Instead, it reads like Yarros put in the mystery box, realized that she had nothing she wanted to do with it, and wanted to toss it out as quickly as possible.
Wards
As mentioned above, Yarros claims that Tyrrendor (or, at least, Aretia) is outside of the protective wards. This makes no sense in light of the map. Aside from Aretia being closer to Basgiath than the eastern border, it is also closer than Lewellen, the city that became Tyrrendor's new capital after Aretia was destroyed. How and why did Navarre claim ownership over these lands if they were outside the wards? If they claimed these lands despite them never being inside of the wards, why not aggressively expand into Poromiel to keep the venin from ever reaching the wards?
The only potential explanation for this is that Navarre deliberately allowed the wards to lapse at Aretia, as part of the punishment for the previous rebellion. We will later learn that the alloy forged by the luminary is distributed to the border outposts to maintain the full extent of the wards. (There’s an analogy in Chapter 20 about the war being an umbrella, with the alloy serving as the ends of the umbrella’s ribs.) Maybe Navarre removed the alloy from Aretia to leave it exposed. However, this would mean that Navarre is allowing the venin inside their borders and then not bothering the monitor the obvious place where a venin army could congregate and organize (because, if they did monitor the city, they’d have noticed the Aretia rebels). This is such a monumentally stupid decision that, even if it is what Yarros intended, it would still be bad writing.
We also learn about the wardstones being the sources of the wards. There is an inactive one is Aretia, despite the one in Basgiath being the one doing all of the heavy lifting. This is incredibly convenient, but since it is being used to start up a subplot (rather than resolving or advancing one), it’s the sort of convenience that does not damage the story.
The Luminary
Luminaries are devices that forge the alloy needed to power dragon wards (and also to make venin-killing weapons). Basgiath uses theirs to maintain Navarre's wards at full strength. The rebel children use this same luminary to -
Wait. What?
The rebel children are using the SAME luminary as Navarre's military?
Forget smuggling weapons to the border. How have they not been caught using the luminary? Does this vital tool of the Navarran military have no security? Are the materials that go into and out of it not monitored closely? It doesn't matter whether the rebel children are using the luminary directly or merely stealing alloy between when it is forged and when it is shipped out to the border. They should have been caught out long before Violet stumbled upon their weapons smuggling operation. This is especially true because, as we will learn later in the text, luminaries are fueled by dragon fire. Are we really supposed to believe that no no one noticed dragons sneaking in and out multiple times?
For comparison, consider a US nuclear refinery at the height of the Cold War. The reactors would be monitored and guarded. The fissile and fussile materials would be monitored and guarded. If ANYTHING went missing, intensive investigations would be launched.
Now, it wasn’t impossible to breach the perimeter of such a facility. I once heard an account from a man who claimed that he accomplished this very thing through social engineering. As a homeless teenager in the late 1950s / early 1960s (he did not give specifics, so I had to guess this from his age), he lied his way into a laborer job at a facility that handled nuclear waste. He manipulated the bureaucracy and played the sympathies of good-natured admins to avoid providing any of the documents needed to prove his educational history and background. This did not give him access to centrifuges, weapons-grade material, or anything else that could be used to make weapons of mass destruction. He simply drove a truck that may or may not have contained nuclear waste around the interior of the waste facility.
By this man’s own admission, it took the FBI only a few months to arrest him. He hadn’t even done anything to draw their attention. They just noticed the ever-growing hole that his mere presence was burning into the personnel records and, given the secure nature of the facility, pounced on what they assumed to be a spy. Needless to say, the man lost his job.
We’ll later learn that Xaden and his cohort have been engaging in far riskier and attention-grabbing actions, while being actively being suspected of being a potential threat, for almost THREE YEARS.
Dragons
The fact dragon adolescents enter the Dreamless Sleep to mature rapidly does not break anything. This mechanic is very obviously being used to rapidly age Andarna up and to justify removing her from the narrative of Part One, yet this is an example of lore that is narratively utilitarian while still meshing with the setting.
It's the rest of their adolescence that is a problem.
Mood Swings
Tairn gives us this banger while describing the coming shift in Andarna's personality.
"There’s a reason adolescents don’t bond, either. They don’t have the patience for humans. Or elders. Or logic,” he grumbles.
Yet more reason why this irregular bonding should never have been permitted. Why was Andarna allowed to go through with this?
(Those of you who have already read the book may be typing that Yarros does address this by the climax. I will get to that utter disaster when it surfaces. For now, I will say that this answer is not adequate. Surely such an extenuating circumstance would be questioned, yet Tairn is treating it as an insignificant curiosity.)
Colors
Chapter 2 confirms that dragon colors are hereditary ... yet also that only the dragon in charge of a den knows what color a hatchling will grow up to be.
First, how can dragon color both be hereditary and a lottery that only a den leader can foretell? Tairn and Sgaeyl (Xaden's dragon) know Andarna is not their hatchling, so logically, at least the dragon parents should be able to identify their offspring and gauge the future color.
Second, how is color hereditary, given everything established as being linked to colors? This isn't like human hair color, where singular genes can be dominant or recessive. Dragon colors also affect their size, temperament, and magical power. This is a whole slew of genes, more intensive than even the differences between human racial groups. As anyone who has ever encountered a person of mixed heritage will know, all those traits do not get transferred as a package deal. Given that interbreeding among colors is not forbidden and doesn’t even seem to be remarkable, surely a lot of mixed-race dragons should be flying around.
Tails
Tairn also graces us with this line.
"Tails are a matter of choice and need.”
Why are dragons classified by tail weapon if the tail weapon is not hereditary? How are different tail weapons forming if all dragons are being raised in the same nesting ground under effectively the same conditions? Why wouldn't every dragon choose the deadliest tail weapon? Can dragons change their tails over time? How does the scorpion tail fit into this, given how is it would have to accommodate all the organs need to produce and deliver venom, something the other weapons do not need to accommodate?
All these worms spill from the can Yarros has opened, and she never makes any attempt to clean them up.
Melgren the Omniscient
The city—now reduced to a town—has been silently, covertly rebuilding for years right under General Melgren’s nose. The relics, magical marks the children of the executed rebellion officers carry, somehow mask them from Melgren’s signet when they’re in groups of three or more. He can’t see the outcome of any battle they’re present for, so he’s never been able to “see” them organizing to fight here.
Yarros has just declared that Melgren is nigh-omniscient.
There’s no other way to describe it. What she had just told us is that, by using an event as a reference point, he can back-trace all variables involved in that event, searching far into the past and to completely different geographic locations. Tying his omnipotence to battles solves nothing. First, so many variables flow into any given battle that, if he can see a city being rebuilt on the basis that it is the base for rebels who might be involved in that battle, an argument could be made for seeing literally anything. Second, we will later learn that Melgren doesn’t need to have prior awareness of an impending battle. He actually relies on his future sight to warn him that the battles will happen. This means that his Signet warns him of a future and then shows him everything connected to that future.
Contradiction
Also, this paragraph directly contradicts Chapter 5 of Fourth Wing.
“Then they were already on their way,” I blurt, immediately recognizing how silly that sounds. My cheeks heat as a mumble of laughter sounds around me.
“Yeah, because that makes sense.” Jack turns around in his seat from the front row and openly laughs at me. “General Melgren knows the outcome of a battle before it happens, but even he doesn’t know when it will happen, dumbass.”
I feel the chuckling of my classmates reverberate in my bones. I want to crawl under this ridiculous desk and disappear.
According to Fourth Wing, Melgren should not be able to see Aretia anyway. If he could see the rebels organizing there because of their connection to a future battle, how would he not know when the battle takes place? For that matter, given that he relies on his future sight to see battles coming, how would he be able to see the battle coming and know the outcome without also knowing when it takes place?
Blind Spot
How is Melgren not aware of the giant hole in this future sight?
Back in Fourth Wing, we covered the absurdity of the blind spot mechanic. More specifically, we covered the absurdity that the brutal regime that is Navarre would merely amend the Codex to control rebel children rather than executing every last rebel child as a precaution, as well as the sheer idiocy of testing Xaden’s loyalties in a manner that leaves Melgren blind to the test. Now, with Yarros establishing nigh-omnipotence, the question becomes how his sight an function at all. Shouldn’t he be getting the magical equivalent of error messages or poorly rendered images?
Now, there is a way to reconcile this. Yarros uses it. While not explicitly stated, it is made very clear that Melgren is seeing the wrong future. What the blind spot does is distract him with entire alternate timelines that omit the affects of the hidden variables, complete with changing the location and timing of potential battles. He might develop a strategy for victory in the future he sees, but he will be left vulnerable to the actual future that’s coming.
However, while this does fill one plot hole, it opens two more.
First … why does Melgren rely solely on his Signet once he is made aware of the blind spot, especially if he is allowing the people who create that blind spot to live? We know that Navarre had an intelligence-gathering apparatus, as Foruth Wing told us that the scribes are responsible for collecting, analyzing, and distributing that data. Are we really supposed to believe that neither Melgren nor the scribes ever fact-check his visions against military intelligence to screen out inconsistencies, especially once the blind spot is identified? Come to think of it, this is probably how the blind spot was identified in the first place. How have the scribes not traced the Aretia rebellion based on those inconsistencies (plus the issues I mentioned back in the Fourth Wing review)?
Second … based on what Yarros has thus told us about Melgren’s Signet and will tell us throughout this book, everything bad that happens in this story is the fault of the rebel children.
Brennan says that Melgren is confident that the wards cannot fail, yet he has information that indicates otherwise. We now know that Melgren can see any variable that is not shielded by the rebel children. This means that the only reason that Melgren cannot accurately gauge the scale of the venin threat and respond accordingly is because Xaden and his cohort are actively meddling in events and forcing him to view the wrong future.
The climax of this book will explicitly acknowledge this to be the case, only for Xaden to brush off responsibility with snark.
The Lesson
Melgren continues to be a textbook example of how future sight - along with other fantastical elements that deal with time, such as time travel and very literal prophecies - can destroy a narrative.
Yes, the inclusion of a villain who can foresee everything the heroes do to oppose him can make for a high-stakes story with a lot of tension. Yes, having the heroes find a way to operate outside of the villain’s sight can create interesting situations and showcase how clever the heroes are.
The problem is that, when you build up a character as being able to foresee and counter any and all opposition, you need to play by those rules. You cannot build up said character as an unstoppable threat, slap on a weakness that he should easily be able to counter and yet doesn’t, and then expect that character to still function as a worthwhile antagonist. What’s more, by giving a character just incredible power, every obvious resolution that the character overlooks reflects poorly on the story.
Melgren’s future sight has contributed nothing positive to The Empyrean thus far. It has only opened plot holes. This series would be greatly improved by the mere act of changing his Signet to something less story-breaking and finding other justifications for why the rebel children aren’t allowed to assemble and why the Aretia rebels have not been discovered.
PROSE
Prose is not something we're really touched on in these reviews. It's one aspect that folds into narrative voice, but it is something that can be assessed separately. I am of the mind that prose is more of a subjective quality of literature than an objective one. Unless the author fails to comply by the rules of grammar or uses words that fail to reflect their target audience, I don't think it's worth commenting on when rating a book.
That being said, Yarros has put some extremely strange lines into this book. She had some in Fourth Wing, too, but there seem to be more of them here. Perhaps these were things that she would have edited out if she had taken more time to work on Iron Flame. After sharing some of these on the Shadiversity Discord and see the reactions, I thought you all might appreciate seeing them as well, even if they are not the cause of any of the problem we'll be covering in this review.
Two guards watch every step I take but make no move to stop me when I pass by. At least that means I’m not a prisoner.
This line seems fine, except one then needs to consider the context. Violet has been given absolutely no reason to think that she could be a prisoner, so she has no reason to draw this conclusion now. This would be like assuming you are an escaped convict because a police car passes you on the street.
This place is astounding. Half palace, half home, but entirely a fortress.
So … a castle, then.
Also, a palace is already a type of home.
Imogen puts her finger to her lips, then motions at me to coin in the empty place between her an Bodhi. I take it, noticing Imogen’s half-shaved hair has been recently dyed a brighter pink while I’ve been resting. Clearly, she’s comfortable here.
What? How does Imogen dyeing her hair reflect her comfort level? This sounds like it’s implying that Imogen just casually carries around hair dye at all times and uses it whenever it suits her mood. Shouldn’t Violet question where she got the dye instead?
There’s that word again: revolution.
“You think you can win.”
“What makes you say that?” He turns towards me.
“You call it a revolution, not a rebellion.” I lift my brow. “Tyrrish isn’t he only thing Dad taught us both. You think you can win - unlike Fen Riorson.”
For those not aware, the semantic difference between revolution and rebellion is not whether it is successful. It gets twisted that way in a “history is writer by the victors” sense, but I highly doubt Yarros meant to imply that Fen Riorson assumed that he was going to lose. Rather, the difference between the two is the scale of the change (intended change, in this case). A rebellion wants change to take place but does not seek a complete overthrow of established systems. A revolution does seek that complete overthrow. What Violet’s reaction should have been was, “Wait, you want to topple the entire government? You don’t just want them to change their policy about the venin threat?”
THE DEATH OF CREDIBILITY
Next time, we will review Chapters 3 and 4, wherein Yarros pulls a, "Somehow, Palpatine returned," to force her story on the path she wants.
After that, I am hoping we can pick up the pace a bit. There are another 62 chapters to go after Chapter 4. Hopefully we can finish this before the third Empyrean novel releases.
The adventure continues next Friday. I hope to see you all then.
